


Amazing Grace

by WritewhatIwant



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Louis, Churches & Cathedrals, Coming Out, Coming Untouched, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Kink, Endgame Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Harry quotes scripture, Homeless Louis, Homeless Zayn, Insecure Louis, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Harry, Jealous Louis, Liam Payne & Harry Styles Friendship, Light Dom/sub, Louis cusses like a sailor, M/M, Married Harry, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Older Harry Styles, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Preacher Harry Styles, Recreational Drug Use, Scared Harry Styles, Scared Louis Tomlinson, Self-Discovery, Selling Drugs, Smoking, Sneaking Around, Sort Of, Sweet Harry Styles, The other boys are background - Freeform, Top Harry, Troubled Louis, Younger Louis Tomlinson, Youth Center, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, bratty louis, larry stylinson - Freeform, more so Louis than Harry, sexual awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:28:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24060601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritewhatIwant/pseuds/WritewhatIwant
Summary: Harry’s a dedicated pastor who's happily married, Louis is the troubled youth that stumbles into his life.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s), Louis Tomlinson/Original Female Character(s), Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 30
Kudos: 288





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this story! I always have to do a few PSAs so here goes lol.
> 
> Everything religious in this story is from my own upbringing. If you are a Christian and you're offended, sorry not sorry, just don't read (which if you are reading this, you’re offended by it then...make it make sense.)
> 
> I've been to Ohio twice and very briefly lol so the city/town is real but I have made everything else up.
> 
> Also, last but certainly not least, this is a work of fiction the views depicted in this story are for the telling of this story only. Do not take this as truth. Read at your own risk.
> 
> Love is Love 🌈

“Let the church say, amen.”

“Amen!”

Harry’s sermon had run a lot later than he’d expected, but with a congregation so enthusiastic about the word, and when he felt a calling towards a particular scripture, he couldn’t help but let the Lord use his vessel. Wiping his brow, he stepped down from the pulpit and allowed his wife of seven years to step forward to deliver the benediction.

Harry used this time to wipe his sweaty forehead and smile out at the faithful churchgoers who actually enjoyed his messages regarding the Lord. It made not only his heart happy, but his entire being radiated with joy. When his wife sat back down in her chair, he watched the choir rise to sing the final hymn.

He spent the remainder of service conversing with his followers, exchanging hugs and words of encouragement to those who needed it.

“Pastor Styles, I just want to tell you how blessed I am to be a part of your following; you are truly heaven sent.”

Smiling at the frail old lady Harry took her hands in his, “It’s what I love to do, Mrs. Wiley, be blessed, and remember this Wednesday we’ll have dinner after service.”

“I can’t wait! I’ve already made three different pound cakes.” Harry and his wife, Madeline, laughed heartily as the old woman waddled off.

“I told my parents we’d come over for supper tonight,” Madeline said, letting Harry help her into the all-white Suburban.

“Liam wanted me to stop by the community center, the new youth program goes public tomorrow, and he wants to run everything by me.”

“You shouldn’t let him treat you like a mule,” She mumbled, buckling in as Harry got into the driver’s seat.

“Romans 12:13, share with the Lord's people who are in need, practice hospitality, and helping those who need it never takes a day off, Maddi.”

The tight-lipped smile she gave him went over Harry’s head, “Yeah, I know. You never fail to remind me.”

“I promise I won't be longer than an hour.”

***

“Good evening, Pastor Styles!” Paula, the head coordinator of the community center, spoke from the front desk, bright eyes, and broad smile always present. “Today’s message was phenomenal.”

“Good Evening Mrs. P, I’m glad you enjoyed it. The Lord speaks, I am only his messenger.”

“He speaks to you so well. Liam is in his office. The new program is coming together fabulously!”

Harry smiled, “I’m excited we’ll being reaching more troubled youth in the community.”

Before another conversation could start up, Liam was poking his head out of his office huge, brown eyes falling on Harry’s tall, lanky frame.

“Now, I know you want to talk the pastor’s ear off Mrs. P, but I need his assistance.”

“My apologies Mr. Payne.” She laughed heartily, turning back to the computer.

Leaving her with a smile, Harry made his way into Liam’s office space, “Thanks for the save out there.”

“She would’ve talked your ear off for hours.”

“She means well,” Harry added, easing down into the armchair, “How’s the program coming?”

“Good, good. I know you usually have dinner with Madeline on Sundays, but the official opening starts tomorrow, and I just wanted you to double-check everything.

“Liam, you are my right-hand man and my best friend. I trust you, and I trust that God has lead you to make the right decision for this program.”

The brunette smiled wide, “You’re so trusting. Haz, I’m thankful to have you as my pastor, and as my friend.”

These were the moments Harry loved most, knowing that those he loved returned the gesture, and they entrusted him with their faith to lead them to greatness.

“I enjoy what I do, because of God, and God is good.”

“All the time.” Liam finally opened the folder and laid it face open in Harry’s direction, “It’s mainly troubled, and homeless youth. Teenagers and young adults who need a place to stay and an opportunity to get back on their feet. Niall suggested running a career-building program that prepares them for the workforce, and I enlisted Xavier, and Faith to choose between running either character building, or tutoring lessons with a few other volunteers.”

“Sounds good, what do you need from me.”

“Well, I thought that maybe you could give a little speech tomorrow, and kind of motivate them to reach out to their friends, and classmates who they think could benefit from the program as well.”

“Sure thing, anything else?”

Liam looked afraid to ask, but Harry’s warm smile and gleaming green eyes had him powering through, “Just be a beacon of hope. I know this is more my thing, but I’m nervous, and with it being through the church, I thought it’d be nice if you were there spreading the word where it’s needed.”

“Anything for you, Li. Just put it in God’s hands, he’ll never steer you wrong.” Glancing at the time on his watch, Harry rose from the brown cushion, “I have to go, I’m already five minutes over the time I told Maddi I’d be back.”

“Oh man, don’t want to keep the missus waiting; she’s a stickler that Maddi.”

“Yes, so I will see you tomorrow. The program will be great, Li, I’m sure of it. Go home, get some rest, and leave the rest to our father. Love you.”

“Love you too, H, be safe and careful.”

“You too. God bless.”

***

Harry had only been a pastor for a little over a year, and he loved his job. He loved being like Liam had said, a beacon of hope for others in a world where awful things were always happening.

When he’d told his mom and dad he wanted to become a preacher at the age of seven, they kind of just expected his aspirations to change as he got older and experienced other things. His parents went to church, but they weren’t avid churchgoers who spent their days doing the lords work. It was when Harry was sixteen and had begged them to let him go to bible school for the entire summer that they knew this wasn’t just a one-off thing.

Harry graduated high school and went to Ohio Christian University to earn a degree in worship leadership and Christian ministries. He stayed a member at his childhood church, and through hard work, praying, and steadfast dedication he became the Wednesday service pastor. Once Pastor Stevens stepped down, Harry took over, and he, along with the entire congregation, couldn’t have been happier. He loved what he did, and he loved the life he got to lead.

He was happily married, and the church was doing exceptionally well. The youth program was just another amazing part being added to the dynamic, and he couldn’t wait to meet all the young adults his words, and encouragement would inspire.

***

“You’re late,” Madeline scolded, ushering Harry into the large home of his parents-in-law.

“Liam was getting cold feet, needed a push in the right direction.”

“You need a haircut, be prepared for my mother to make a comment about it.”

“I’ll make one for tomorrow. Suzanne loves my hair; she just likes to pick a little.”

“Goodness, Harry, you’re too kind to her.”

“I know, but fighting fire with fire will get me nowhere. Proverbs 15:1.”

She smiled, running her fingers through the short brown strands, “A soft answer turneth away wrath.”

“Exactly.”

She did comment on his hair, but Harry just told her he had a haircut appointment lined up for tomorrow, she didn’t fuss at him much after that.

He and Madeline had gotten married young, nineteen to be precise. She was always there when he was having trouble with his scriptures or didn’t know what God wanted him to do next, and he took that as a sign that she was the one meant to help him in his journey as an aspiring pastor. She was his rock, and he loved her.

Like any married couple, they had their ups and downs, but through prayer and scripture, they worked things out. The devil was a trickster, and he wanted Harry’s marriage to fail, but if he believed in the word and stayed persistent in his marital duties, their love would conquer all.

***

“I’ll be at the youth center most of the day after my haircut,” Harry told Madeline, as she curled her auburn roots.

“Okay, I’ll be with my sister and my mom, she’s getting ready to go on her mission trip to Sweden.”

“Does she want us to do a prayer circle at the church before she leaves, I can pencil it in with Heather.”

“If you don’t mind, I know you’re busy, and it’s kind of—”

“It’s fine, honey. Prayer is never an inconvenience.”

Sharing a chaste kiss, Harry hugged her from behind, “Maybe we can have dinner at that new Italian place in the city.”

“Ooo, yummy. I’ll call and make a reservation. Be safe, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Harry was excited, even though this was Liam’s project he couldn’t help but be just as passionate about the start of this program. Harry lived a comfortable life, parents that supported him in his endeavors, and always made a way. God played a vital role, but his parents moved mountains to ensure he received nothing but the best.

The church wasn’t anything extravagant. He’d been getting pressured by big-city investors, and more progressive deacons to move the congregation into a megachurch, but Harry hadn’t gotten the calling to do so. The midsize town in Hudson, Ohio was where he felt God needed him most; the crime wasn’t too bad, but the number of young adults displaced and homeless that lived amongst the bridges and alleys was a sight for sore eyes. Harry had enlisted Liam to start up a program dedicated to helping those in need, and his best friend had gone above and beyond. The volunteers that poured in to lend a helping hand reminded Harry why he loved Hudson so much.

“Good morning Mrs. Paula, working hard or hardly working.”

“Working as hard as the good Lord will let me, how has your morning been?”

“The Lord has blessed me with another day, so my morning is going great.” He made him a cup of coffee from the small kitchenette off from the front entrance, “Has Liam made it in?”

“Yes sir, he’s helping the ushers set up in the banquet hall for this afternoon. Summer is upon us all, so we’re expecting a big turn-out.”

“I’m excited, I heard Brother Williams is operating the grill.”

“If Sister Carol will allow it, you know that woman has to interview just about any new member personally.”

“She takes her position in the church seriously. Well let me get on in here, Liam’s probably running around like a chicken with his head cut off.”

She laughed loudly, brown cheeks bugling up as she smiled, “Oh, you know it. That man, there is a bottled of frazzled nerves.”

Liam was running from one end of the large room to the next. He hadn’t noticed Harry’s arrival until Brother Xavier approached Harry asking about Wednesday service.

“Goodness, Haz, I thought you’d be a no show.”

Harry’s eyes expanded comically, “I made a vow to be here, so I am here.”

“Well, thank you. Everything is going according to schedule. The doors open at noon, and it’s already a quarter till. I’m getting nervous, what if none of the shelters come through and we have an empty house.”

“Psalms 56:3, when I am afraid, I put my trust in him. Liam, I’m positive with all the volunteering, and outreaches you do within the community the turn out is going to be amazing.”

“You always know how to keep me from freaking out. Ni, X, and Faith also deserve credit because, without them, this wouldn’t be completely possible. The volunteers, too, we had over fifty members, and non-members dedicate their time to making this dream our reality.”

“I’m excited, I’ve gotta run over to the church and grab a few notes that I feel would inspire those that come, so I’ll be back in a second.”

“Alright, H, thanks again.”

Smiling at his closest friend Harry quickly departed from the small building and trekked across the parking lot to the church house. Pulling his key from his pocket, he made fast work of getting inside. He was halfway to his chair on the pulpit when he heard rustling and faint curses.

“Whose in here.” Harry boomed, his voice never as deep, and menacing as it was right now to the apparent intruder.

He heard another rustle, and a bang as if things were dropping the added noise helped Harry pinpoint the sound, and he sprinted towards the men’s bathroom. What he wasn’t expecting to find was a young boy trying his hardest to jump through the small bathroom window. Bathroom supplies that had been leaning against the wall, scattered across the floor. He hopped up again, tiny fingers gripping at the sill, and he used his small legs to push up on the wall.

“Hey!” Harry yelled, the sound echoing in the small room.

The boy startled and drop to the ground. The most striking blue eyes Harry had ever seen fell over him, and he almost smiled warmly until the boy cut his eyes and scowled.

“You gonna call the cops or what.”

With wide eyes, Harry stumbled over his words, “W-What. W-Why would I call the cops?”

“Because I broke in here.” The petite male groaned.

“How old are you?” Harry inquired, the smallest smile itching at his ruby red lips.

“Why does it matter to you.”

His eyebrow rose, “It matters to me a great bit.”

“I’m nineteen.” He muttered, frowning deeply at the floor.

“Well, today is your lucky day because I won’t be calling the cop. Instead, I’ll invite you to a church event in our community center.”

“Fuck no. I’ll past.”

“Nasty tongue you’ve got there, and it’s either this or I do call the cops.”

“Ugh, fine.” Harry chuckled when the male stomped his foot and groaned aloud. He had to admit, he kind of liked this kid.


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m not getting saved or whatever shit you want to force on me.”

“I only invited you to a community function. You live in the community, don’t you?”

“Eh, I live…around.”

Harry smiled, leaning down to grab the papers he’d initially come into the church to grab, “Why were you breaking in here anyways?”

“None of your business.” Blue-eyes hissed, snarling at Harry, whose face seemed to be fixed into a state of shock.

“You shouldn’t disrespect people who are not only older than you but are also trying to lend you a helping hand. Ecclesiastes 5:2.”

“Ecclesia-what?”

“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. It’s a bible verse.” Harry told the young boy.

“Oh, thanks,” Sarcasm more than apparent on his words.

***

“Pastor Styles, you always go above and beyond. Who is this young man.” Sister Carol asked, a massive smile on the scowling teen.

“I met him outside, he was walking past the church, and I invited him to join us.”

The large irises that fell on the side of Harry’s face made the preacher want to smile, “You should introduce yourself, young man.”

“Louis.” He muttered, teeth gritted, and fist clenched.

“Welcome, Louis. We’ve got a buffet with all types of food. Care packages and will be playing a few games. I hope you enjoy yourself!”

“Gee, can’t wait.”

The older woman didn’t note his sarcasm like Harry did, but that was the perk of being older, bratty teenagers didn’t stop your shine.

“I will not force you to stay, but we do have food, and a few fun games and special seminars going on. I have to go and talk with my colleague who's hosting this event.”

“I’m staying for the free food, then I’m out of here,” Louis muttered, knocking into Harry’s arm as he proceeded into the banquet hall.

Harry shook his head, laughing softly. Teenagers were a separate species that he tried to steer clear of just because they always seemed angry. He couldn’t pass too much judgment onto them because one it wasn’t fair, and two, he had also been a teenager once upon a time.

“You’re smiling, which means the event is going good,” Liam said as he stood in front of the brunette.

“I actually haven’t been inside. I met a young man outside whose very, _unruly_. I think he’s homeless or on his own, but either way, he seems to need a shoulder to lean on.”

“Wow, thanks H, I’m hoping they all mingle and confide in each other. The volunteers are serving lunch now, so I was thinking once everyone finds a seat and settles down, you can say a few things.”

“Of course, Li, anything for my right-hand.”

Harry tried spotting the short spitfire he’d met amongst the sea of people, but to no avail, he went about greeting the youth, and different shelter leaders that had come out. The turnout had been better than he’d expected, the room packed almost full. 

When he’d wrapped up a conversation with a young girl, who’d been kicked out of her home, he noticed the crowd had settled a bit and saw this as his queue to say a few words. Hopping up on the small platform, he grabbed the microphone Liam handed up to him and smiled out at the people.

He let his green eyes study a few different faces amongst the crowd when he saw his personal rascal leaned against the far back wall, munching on a hamburger. His smile grew even larger with the knowledge that the boy had stayed long enough to hear Harry speak.

“Good afternoon! I just first want to say how glad I am to have all of you here in fellowship. Each of you represents what this church is about, and we are so thankful that you chose to come out and not only support but in solidarity for those who are in bad situations or just need a warm meal in their belly. The Saving the Future program is to aid the minds of tomorrow through faith and helping hands. Our youth are the tomorrow, and if we let them lay by the wayside, we aren’t good followers of Christ. Proverbs 19:17, Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done. We have team leaders, counselors, and volunteers that will talk with you all about what our program will offer, Be safe, and God bless.”

The round of applause sent chills down Harry’s spine, he looked out at the back again to see the boy making a hasty exit. Before he could be bombarded by members and guests, he rushed after the tyrant. He almost missed the main door slamming close, but when he caught notice of it, he sprinted outside to find the boy speed walking down the road.

“Hey! What’s the rush, maybe you can speak with one of the counselors we have available.”

Large, angry eyes looked back at Harry, and they had him halting in his steps, “I’m _not_ a fucking charity case. You church people are all the fucking same. Thinking you’ll prove you’re living by God if you help those who seemingly can’t help themselves, makes me fucking _sick_.”

“Helping others has nothing to do with the Lord, I mean, yes he plays a role, but we do this because we want to, not because we want to be in God’s good books.”

“Whatever _Pastor Styles_.” He hissed, continuing down the road, unaware of Harry jogging behind him.

“At least let me send you on your way with a plate of food, and some warmer clothes. It may be summertime, but the nights in Ohio can be brutal.”

“What in the fuck did you not understand about me not being a charity case, I don’t need your fucking help. I’ve been on my own for four fucking years, I don’t need shit from you!”

“Okay! Okay! You’re not a charity case, at least take my card, and use it whenever you need anything. It’s my personal cell.” Harry had the business card extended out. He was surprised when the boy snatched the black cardstock.

“Now, stop following me, ya Jehovah witness.”

Harry chuckled; he doesn’t know what it is, but this kid was a force to be reckoned with. He watched him until he couldn’t see his small figure any longer. Heading back towards the church and community center, he thought about what the boy had said. He didn’t want people thinking he did what he did because he wanted brownie points with God, no, Harry genuinely wanted to make a difference in the world.

“Where have you been! A donor is asking for you, saying they want to invest 2500 into the program!” Liam whisper-shouted, gleaming hazel eyes.

Harry pounded his fist in the air, a dimpled smile spreading across his face, “Get out!”

“Yep! Said, your speech inspired him to make the donation.”

“Alright well let's go, take me to him.”

***

Louis hated churches. He despised the false words they spread about loving God and faith. The whole enterprise screamed cult to him, and the way that the pastor had practically hunted him down for his approval just proves that they are all looney in their heads.

The moment he saw Zayn he was fucking him up, he’d ditched Louis in that bathroom, and he’d been forced to stay around feeding into the Christian bullshit.

The god stuff was bullshit, and Louis was living proof. He'd grown up believing in the same thing, and somehow he ended up with a shit life and living on the streets at the age of sixteen. He’d prayed so fucking hard for things to get better, for his dad to stop beating on him, and his mom to get off the drugs. Prayed like it was the air he needed to breathe. What did it do for him…not a got damn thing. He was still miserable as fuck, and he still had to fight to get a warm meal in his stomach. Whoever this God was, he didn’t give a fuck about Louis.

“You are a fucking bitch, Zayn, a real fucking bitch!” Louis seethed, approaching the brunette, leaned against an abandoned building smoking a cigarette.

“Hey, I told you that church was no good.”

“Oh, so leave me to fend for myself instead!”

“Hey, I did us a favor. If we both got caught, we’d both be in a holding cell. How’d you get away anyways? I was expecting to be bailing you out tonight.”

“Well, jokes on you, because I actually got food and a warning from some uppity pastor.”

“You got food, and did bring me any? We’re supposed to be like brothers Lou, I’m just as skinny and helpless as you.”

“Well, tough. You shouldn’t have left me.”

“How did you get food?”

“Oh god, it’s a long horrible story, just know that they’re one of those churches who spend a lot of time involving the community, and patting their own backs.”

“Well is this food gig, a regular type deal. Since none of the local shelters will take us in, maybe this can be our new spot.”

“Hellll no. I hate churches with a burning passion, they’ll try and convert us, and then next thing you know we’re attending service on a regular, saying ‘God Bless’ every other word.”

“Hey, a little church would do us both some good, and we’d get a free meal out of it.”

“No. Final answer, I’m not going back near that place.”

“Fine, well, you’ve got get us dinner tonight, and I’m not eating leftovers from Benny’s again, so don’t even think about going there and asking him.”

“All the moldy bread, and spoiled lunch meat we want, I don’t see how that’s a bad deal.”

“Shitting and throwing up every hour afterward is the bad part of the deal dumbass.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Louis pulled the burning stick from between Zayn’s lips, “Whatever, I’ll see what I can do, we need to get back to the others.” Louis took a long drag, coughing slightly.

“Why, so you can try and fuck Laurie again.”

“A man has needs, and she’s willing to fill all of mine.”

“Well, being a homeless gay guy has not had any perks for me, so when you start spreading the love by finding me a John Doe to bed, I’ll be happy for you.”

“I told you they have a Gloryhole at the subway on Thomas street.”

The dumbfounded face Zayn gave the male made Louis laugh long and hard. “Do I look like a cheap whore to you?”

“No, just a desperate one.”

“Shut the fuck up and go find us dinner.”

***

“This place is super nice. I’m glad you thought to come here for dinner.”

Harry placed the menu down and smiled at his wife, whose large amber eyes were examining the modern-style Italian restaurant.

“It’s beautiful, just like the woman sitting before me. When God maketh a wife, he maketh a good thing.”

“You sure have a way with words. I love you.”

“I love you too. How was your time with your mother and sister.”

“Good, she’s pretty much packed and ready to go. I’m excited for her, I remember my first mission trip at her age, she’s going to do amazing she has the heart for it.”

“She does, I met a young boy the same age as her, a little rough around the edges, but he just reminded me why Liam’s program is in place.”

“That’s good, was he with a shelter?”

“No, he was actually breaking in or breaking out of the church.” Harry laughed, thinking back on Louis, trying with all his might to get out the window.

“Did you call the cops? He can’t go unpunished, Harry.” She scolded, taking a sip of her water.

“No, I didn’t, he’s just a kid. I invited him to the community center instead, and he stayed for a bit.”

“Well, next time, call the authorities. He will think you’re complacent in his foolery and come back.”

“Well that’s what I want, God doesn’t want me to call the cops on this young man, he wants me to help him.”

“Harry, just please, I know you believe in God’s way, but he could be trouble and I wouldn’t want anything happening to the church or our members.”

Harry wanted to tell her that had she seen the young male, she’d know that he couldn’t hurt much of anything. He had a temper, but he was small and delicate. “I hear you, Mad.”

She smiled, and he smiled back. When their waiter came he ordered their food, and they talked about the upcoming week. His phone rang, and he immediately assumed it was either Liam or his parents calling this late. When the unknown number flashed up at him, he frowned.

“Let me step out and take this phone call.”

“Okay, hurry back.” She told him, looking down at her own cellphone.

Once the frigid air consumed his body, Harry accepted the call and brought the iPhone to his ear, “Hello?”

“Uh, I need you to bring me food,” was the distorted, blunt reply he heard over the receiver.

Harry smiled, leaning against a street light, “You used the card.”

“Uh, yeah, now pastor, I need food for my friend and me.”

“The community center is open; they’re serving chili and cornbread for dinner.”

“I’m not going back there, I already told you that so bring me something yourself.”

“Demands will get you nowhere, Louis. Romans 8:25, but if we hope for what we do not see, we wa—”

“Enough with the scriptures father time, are you bringing it or not!”

Harry smiled against the phone screen, “Where are you? It will be Italian because that is what I’m having.”

“Alfredo, and breadsticks…extra breadsticks too.”

“I’m waiting for something else.”

“Ugh, thank you,” Louis muttered over the line, clearly upset at having to say two measly words. “I’m at the laundromat on Thomas.”

“Okay, it’ll be about an hour, I’m having dinner with my wife.”

“Whatever.” And the line went dead.

Harry placed the order at the front counter, making sure to add the extra breadsticks. Once he was finished, he made his way back to the table.

“Is everything okay?” Madeline asked, her eyes never leaving her phone screen.

“Uh, yeah. Nothing to worry about.”

He didn’t have to say much after that, because their food was arriving, after a short prayer, the silence of enjoying a good meal fell over them.


	3. Chapter 3

“I have to run an errand, so I’ll be back in about an hour or so.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just church-related. Go ahead and get ready for bed, and I’ll be back. I love you.”

“Okay, I love you too.”

After sharing a small kiss, Harry departed from the house. He didn’t know why he was basically lying to his wife about helping Louis, but with how she reacted at dinner about the boy, he just didn’t want her to try and talk him out of it. He felt like God wanted him to help Louis, and he didn’t like disobeying the Lord’s calling.

This part of Hudson was a part Harry was familiar with by knowing it as not a good part of town to be in. He knew Louis was clearly living on the streets, but he didn’t want to think about where the brunette was staying and how he got by. Pulling up to the only laundromat on Thomas street, Harry was able to easily pinpoint Louis in a worn blue Adidas pullover, black skinny jeans, and black vans. The nineteen-year-old had a cigarette resting between his baby pink lips.

Rolling down the window, he stared at the boy whose face was staring down at a battered flip-phone, “You shouldn’t smoke, bad for your lungs.”

Wide eyes peered up at him, and that was probably the first time Harry had seen Louis look anything but mad at the world, it showed his age at how frightened he looked staring at Harry. But just as soon as Harry noticed it, Louis’ features were being schooled back into a look of nonchalance.

“Bite me. Did you bring the food?” Louis approached the large SUV, standing on his tiptoes to peer into the truck.

“How about I drive you to where you need to be. It’s late, and it’s cold.”

Harry watched the male think it over, before he pulled on the door handle, and quickly got cozy in the passenger seat. Smiling, Harry watched the boy check out the interior.

“Must’ve used the tithes of your followers to get this baby, huh.”

“No. I prayed, fasted, and saved my money to get this car.”

“What’s fasting?”

“It’s where you don’t eat for a certain amount of time, it gives you a better connection with God.”

“Gross. Where’s my food?”

“I thought we talked about patience.” Harry mused, smiling lightly.

“Are you always smiling, I’ve been nothing but a dick to you from the moment we met, and you’re still smiling.”

“Philippians 4:4, Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.”

“You’ve gotta stop with the scriptures dude, it’s freaky.”

“How can I stop when there is a scripture that summarizes what I’m feeling or trying to say.”

“How about because I said so?”

“I’m older than you, so I think I should be making the orders, not the other way around.”

“Sucks to be you, because I don’t take orders from no one. Turn right here, it’s not out in the open.”

“Okie Dokie.”

The alley Harry pulled in front of made him frown, “You stay here? The community center at my church has an overnight setup.”

Louis groaned loudly again, cutting his eyes at Harry, “How many fucking times do I have to tell you, man, I’m not _interested_ in being a part of your cult.”

“It’s not a cult. Helping others and spreading the word of God to those who will listen isn’t a cult.”

“It’s a cult, so how about you just drop it, and stop asking me, like damn.”

“For a teenager, you sure do curse a lot.”

“First off, no one says ‘curse’ anymore, and second off, I’m an adult, I take care of myself, so, therefore, I’m an adult.”

“I don’t feel comfortable leaving you here, knowing you’re sleeping on the streets.”

“Well then, be uncomfortable because I’m not going to your house of broken dreams. Besides, I have friends who stay here and fuckbuddies.”

“Sex is a sacred act, it should be with someone you love.” Harry cautioned, frowning at the idea of Louis having unsafe sex.

“Ugh, I swear you’re the worst. How old are you anyway, you’ve gotta be at least thirty-five with your backdated views.”

“I’m twenty-three, actually.”

“Yikes, tough shit, bet you didn’t have sex until you were married, huh.”

“The way God intended for it to be, yes.”

“Well, I’m not gonna miss out on what’s probably the best thing since sliced bread over some stupid vows.”

Harry stayed silent, more so bothered by the idea of Louis having sex with someone he didn’t know to pay the male much attention. “You just shouldn’t be having sex, plain and simple.”

Louis would’ve smiled, finally seeing the older man upset about something other than that stupid dimply expression he always seemed to be wearing, “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, you aren’t my _daddy_.”

Harry gripped the steering wheel, and when he felt himself tighten in his jeans from hearing the word ‘Daddy’ roll off Louis' tongue, his breath hitched. “You should go.”

“Fine, is this the food?”

“Yes, be safe and careful, God bless.”

“Ugh, you make me sick, man,” Louis shouted, walking down the alleyway, not once looking back.

Harry again watched the boy until he couldn’t see his petite figure any longer. He didn’t take long after that to drive off as he tried to ignore the growing problem in his lower region. It was frightening in a way how like a light switch, his body immediately reacted to what Louis had so innocently said. He was a straight man, and homosexuality was a sin. He knew this and decided to trump it up to him being sexually pent-up. He and Madeline hadn’t had intercourse in over a month now.

***

Pulling into their driveway, Harry thought about how he would go about asking his wife for sex. She was very finicky when it came to the act, and most times, she liked to make sure she was in the mood for it no matter if Harry wanted to or not.

She was reading her nightly scripture when he entered the bedroom, and when she noticed him come in, she placed her bible on the nightstand and smiled at her husband.

“Is everything okay.”

“Yep, I hope you weren’t waiting up to long, I know you like to get to bed at a decent time.”

“It’s fine, I wanted to wait for you.”

Harry’s eyes roamed around the room before settling on the woman, “Hey, I was thinking, it’s been a while since we had sex, would you maybe want to…”

Goodness, Harry was so awkward, and he shouldn’t be. I mean, he’s asking his wife to have sex, but it sounds like he’s a teenage boy asking to feel his girlfriend's boob for the first time.

“Harry, honey, it’s super late. If you would’ve asked earlier, I would’ve been all for it.”

He frowned, rising off the mattress, heading towards their bathroom, “Yeah, you’re right, I should’ve thought about that…forgive me.”

“It’s okay. I’m gonna get some sleep, I’m leading Tuesday bible study, and I need to be well-rested. Good night, love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” He muttered, closing the bathroom door, and heading for the shower.

Masturbation was also a sin, but Harry’s hard, leaking member being pelted by the hot jet of shower water had him reaching down and gripping his cock tightly. He forced himself to think about Maddi. Her milky, white skin, dark auburn curls, and chestnut eyes. But, blue was all he saw, honey-dipped skin glistening with sweat, as he pounded into a body that wasn’t his wife, instead a troubled young man who lived amongst the streets. He came so hard his vision blacked out momentarily, and he had to brace himself against the shower wall.

“Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned."


	4. Chapter 4

“Shit Lou, where’d you get all this from?” Zayn said, bulging eyes on the bags of hot food.

“I know a guy,” Louis muttered, not keen on telling his best friend that he ran to a pastor for help, Zayn wouldn’t let him live it down.

“I haven’t eaten Italian in ages, oh fuck, and you got alfredo. You are a saint.”

“Far from it, my friend, I'm just a seasoned con-artist, it’s a gift.”

"Keep doing whatever it is you’re doing.” He managed to say around a garlic breadstick lodged halfway into his mouth.

“Have you seen Laurie?”

“Uh, yeah,” Zayn swallowed his mouthful, and looked behind him, “She’s sucking Daniel off in his tent.”

“That fucking slut, she swore up and down she didn’t like him.”

“I told you she was no good, he said he’d get her some blow if she did it.”

“Fucking bitch, I’m done with her for good. You can have her portion of food; she can get Daniel to take care of her.” Louis hissed, staring off into the dark where he knew the tents were.

“Thanks, man, I need all the pasta I can get, these chicken arms, and legs have to be ready for tomorrow.”

“I still think it’s a bad idea, and we should wait another week.”

“Lou, if we don’t try again tomorrow, he might start snooping around and realize half his shit’s missing.”

“I just don’t want to get caught.”

“We won’t.”

Zayn was being insistent about them robbing the old guy who lives off of Baker. He never kept his shed locked up, so they were able to steal a good bit of tools and farm equipment. They would take it to the pawnshop and turn a good profit, the money they got was used to buy food and weed.

The old man was catching on though, and Louis felt like he was leaving the shed unlocked as a trap to catch who’d been stealing his shit. If they got caught, they’d both go to jail, and it’d be strike three for the both of them. He didn’t want to go prison, he already hated authority now, he’d be horrible in confinement. Plus, being as small as he is doesn’t usually work out in your favor.

“If we do, I promise I’m fucking you up.”

***

“Harry, I’m leaving!” Madeline yelled from downstairs, “Love you!”

Harry couldn’t recall if he said it back or not, he was too busy harping on what he’d done last night. Not only what he did, but who he thought about while he did it. A young man, and not just any young man, a minor who obviously lived on the streets, and ran in the wrong crowd. He’d repented and prayed, but he still felt like he hadn’t done _enough_ to rid his mind and body of its wrongdoings.

“Lord, I rest my problems at your feet, may you lead me into my directed path. I repent for my sins and falling victim to my temptations. 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful, and just to forgive us, our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Rising from his knees, he kissed the brass cross clenched in his hand.

He couldn’t dwell on what he did. He repented and gave his problems to the Lord, who would certainly lead him down the right path. So, with a fresh outlook on the day, he texted Madeline to be safe and that he loved her, took a shower, and headed down to his office to start his devotional and prepare for Wednesday night service.

Halfway through his scheduled prayer, his phone rang out, and he immediately thought the worse, seeing that everyone who knew him was aware of his daily agenda. Another unknown number is what he found instead, and he was slowly starting to associate them with Louis.

He picked up immediately, “Hello?”

“Hey, I need you.” Harry’s arm hairs stood up, and he shuddered slightly, “Uh, hello, ya there?”

“Oh, uh, yes. Yes, I am.”

“Okay, well, like I said I kind of got into some…trouble…and I told the officer at the precinct that you could vouch for me.”

“Lying is a sin Louis, and using my name to get you out of problems you cause isn’t helpi—”

“Oh my fucking, all you had to say was no, like I didn’t need a damn speech about it, I’ll call someone else.”

“Wait! T-That wasn’t what I was…I wasn’t…”

“You stutter a lot. Don’t seem very confident for a _god-fearing_ man that is.”

Harry smiled, “What did you do?”

“Tried to rob this old guy, I knew the plan was flawed, but I was in the clutches of peer pressure. I told them you mentor us or some shit, so yeah, come get me.”

“Now hold on just a second. I can’t just be a part of your lies, so if I come pick you two up, you have to actually let me mentor the both of you, or you two stay at the community center, getting back on the right track.”

“It was nice knowing you, goodbye.”

“Louis, wait! At least…I can’t condone your bad behavior…”

“You don’t have to _condone_ shit, I said goodbye.” He hissed over the phone line.

“Louis,” Harry said sternly, shocked at his actions seeing that he never got upset with anyone, even people who deserved it, like his mother-in-law.

“What! Fuck, I don’t want into that shit, I told you already, and you keep pushing it on me.”

“I’m just trying to help you, that’s all…”

The silence only went on for a minute, before Louis huffed, “Fine, we’ll stay at the center. Z will be happy, so I’ll do it for him.”

The green monster that Harry wasn’t accustomed to reared its ugly head, “Are you two together? If so, then that won’t work because homosexuality is a sin.”

“Well, shit. I knew you had to be fucked. Through all that smiling and good graces and you’re a fucking bigot. Who would’ve thought? You know what, fuck you, and forget about the whole thing. Oh, and for the record, I’m not gay, Zayn, my best friend is, and I don’t go anywhere without him.” Louis' voice trailed off before it came back, “And one more thing, I’d rather burn in hell with him, than live in heaven with bigots, and close-minded assholes.”

The line went dead before Harry could try and explain himself.

***

“So, is your pastor friend bailing us out or not.”

“Fuck, no. I don’t want anything to do with that bastard.”

“Yikes, we can just call my brother Lou, no big deal, I mean yeah we’ll probably have to sell a few grams in debt for having him do it but I me—”

“He’s homophobic, he was going to do it, but he thought we were together, and he just…fuck.”

“Oh, well fuck him, I don’t need no rich, snooty pastor bailing me out anyways.”

“Yeah, but I just…I kind of felt like he was different, you know. Like he was one of those progressive preachers that realize the bible is a fucking joke and huge contradiction.”

“Hey, he’ll realize when we’re all in heaven, and God likes you and me better than him.”

“Yeah, no fucking kidding.”

Zayn called up Brandon, and he did say they would have to sell for two weeks, but Louis would sell all the weed in the world before he asks Pastor Styles for any more help. Hell, he kind of wishes he could puke up the food the man had gotten them.

“You two are gonna end up in prison,” Brandon said, as Louis and Zayn slid in the back seat of the 95’ Honda.

“Hey, it’s hard living on the streets. Besides, the old geezer never leaves his porch, we were just doing a little spring cleaning, free of charge.” Louis spoke up, always the master at talking bullshit.

“Yeah, yeah. Well, I need you two over on Micheal. Jodie and Forrest have to keep low because the cops over there know their faces now.

“Well, of course, they are. I mean, that’s a pretty suburban area.”

“Yeah, but those kids over there pay top dollar.”

“It’s whatever we’ll do it. Thanks, bro.” Zayn interjected, patting the man on his right shoulder.

***

Harry didn’t know why he felt… _bad_. He wasn’t new to the passage on homosexuality, he had read about it in every instance that involved learning about the bible. It was wrong, and God had made the act of intimacy between man and woman, that’s it. Except, why did he get more bothered by the idea of Louis sleeping with a man, then he did about it being a man. He had only said what he'd said to upset Louis, but he didn’t want to upset the boy to the point where he didn’t reach out to him anymore.

He was supposed to be finishing up his mid-day service notes, but he couldn’t get Louis' burning words out of his mind. Every time he blinked, it was like he had ‘bigot’ branded into the inside of his eyelids.

“Honey, I’m back from the church.”

“Uh, in my office.”

Harry stored his unfinished notes into the bottom drawer and rose from his swivel chair. Madeline met him in the middle of the room, and they kissed softly. “How was bible study?”

“Phenomenal. Sister Kathy and Brother Andrew sure know how to make you see the word in a different light.” She pulled off her heels as she continued talking, “I stayed after a little in the community center to see if they needed help for the church supper tomorrow.”

“Was Liam there?”

“He was. Running around as always, there were a few new teens that showed up, so he was busy getting them set-up and settled.”

“I wonder how many open slots he has left?” Harry pondered, more to himself than to his wife. Maybe if he apologized to Louis and told him that they were both welcomed anyways, the boy would forgive him and come stay.

Harry knew it was wishful thinking, but he had an inevitable pull towards the boy, and he didn’t know if it was God or his own personal feelings. He just wanted to make things right with him.

“I thought we could order in from the Greek place over on Michael? If you don’t mind driving to pick it up.”

He needed some time to think, clear his mind, and talk to God, “Yeah, I’ve been in the house most of the morning, it’ll be nice to get some fresh air. You order the usual, and I’ll pick it up.”

“Okay great, I’m also gonna take a bath while you’re out, my feet are killing me.”

“I’ll give you a foot massage tonight if you want,”

“Oh, thank you, sweetheart, that would mean everything to me.”

“Anything for my beautiful wife.” He kissed her passionately, trying not to dawn on the empty feeling he got from performing the gesture.

“Maybe we can have intercourse tonight.”

“Okay, that would be nice,” Harry told her, he did have the urge to have sex, just not with her.

Once she left out, Harry busied himself with finishing his church notes and doing an extra devotional. He stared at his phone the unknown number from the night he’d brought Louis food glaring up at him. He wanted to press call but didn’t know if it would for sure be Louis on the other end.

“Okay, I ordered it!” Madeline yelled from the hallway, causing Harry to jump and drop his phone to the carpet.

“Okay, I’m gonna head out; by the time I make it over there, it should be ready. Love you.”

“Love you too!”

***

“Shit. It’s fucking cold, you got a cig?”

Zayn handed over the unlit cigarette, “Yeah, don’t smoke it all. Gonna see if they’ll let me in to take a piss.”

“Can’t make no promises,” Louis said, watching Zayn walk off towards a small café.

The sun was beginning to set, and the Ohio chill was settling in the air. The thin Adidas pullover Louis had snagged from a Khols a year back was worn in many places. The holes placed throughout made it easy for the wind to nip at his skin.

Once the rolled tobacco was lit, he took a long drag, the warm air that settled in his lungs warmed his insides. It was on his exhale that he noticed a familiar white suburban cruising down the road. He didn’t want to assume it was the pastor, but then again, Louis was on the man’s side of town, so it was possible.

“What a fucking coincidence,” Louis grumbled, watching the lanky brunette make his way inside the same café Zayn had disappeared into.

After two more pulls off the cancer stick, he stubbed it out to save some for Zayn. Looking back at the yellow painted building, Louis began to wonder what was taking Zayn so long. Another ten minutes and the male was walking back towards him.

“Man did I just see the hottest piece of ass.”

Louis frowned, and before he could figure out if he was mad at Pastor Styles or Zayn talking about Pastor Styles in that manner, he was ranting, “No, the fuck you don’t. That’s the douchebag who said how you live your life is a sin.”

“Seriously?! He’s a pastor.” Zayn looked unconvinced, “Pegged me as a model or celebrity.”

“Nope. Just a bigot.” Louis told him.

“Hey, if I’m being honest, I still fuck him.”

Louis was appalled and kind of bothered by Zayn’s words, “You shouldn’t be a slut for just any cock Malik.”

“Ouch, what’s your problem.” He asked, reaching for the leftover cigarette.

“Nothing, I just…I hate that guy.”

When Harry exited the building, Louis scowled, even though deep down, he wanted the older man to notice him just so Louis had a reason to say something or maybe punch him in the face.

“He’s a dick,” Louis mumbled, watching Harry look at the opposite end of the road, and slowly turning to look in Louis' direction.

He held his breath as the sparkling green eyes landed on him. Watching the older man’s irises widen and settle all at once. When Harry began walking his way, he couldn’t help the eye roll. “See, look here he comes now, probably to condemn us to hell or some other sanctified nonsense.

“Hey, if he offers us some of his food, I’m taking it. He can be homophobic all he wants. Food is food.”

“No, we will _not_ eat any of his tainted offerings, it’s the principle of the situation Z, the principle.”

Zayn couldn’t argue because Harry was stepping up to them with a bright smile. “It’s very late for you two to be out, isn’t it.”

“Why in the fuck are you talking to us?” Louis jeered, frowning deeply as he looked Harry over.

He was dressed the most casual Louis had ever seen him. Gray sweats paired with a navy blue college crewneck that had OCU in large gray letters, and black Nike’s. His short brown roots were unkempt and stuck out at odd angles. The attire made the man seem a lot younger, and a little less intimidating.

His frown was something Louis enjoyed seeing fall on his red lips, “I was just being a kind neighbor.”

“Oh really, well, FYI, kindness and homophobia don't go hand in hand.”

Harry looked at Zayn, blushing in embarrassment as if he hadn’t said the words with so much distaste and fierceness earlier.

“Hey dude, you're not my first bigot, and you won’t be my last. Louis here is just my protective _little_ brother.”

“We’re the same age,” Louis grumbled, kicking at the rubble on the sidewalk.

“You’re still little,” Zayn muttered, which had Louis elbowing him in the side, glaring at him hard.

“I bought more than enough food, I could give you guys some to take or—”

“We don’t want your charity.”

“Uh, yes, we do,” Zayn whispered.

“No, we don’t. We’ll get food somewhere else.”

“Louis, we both know that isn’t true. I’m sorry if my words came off a little jarring and constrained. It’s not my place as a Christian to past judgment, and I have asked God’s forgiveness.”

“Oh, and let me guess, he gave his golden boy a slap on the wrist, and a finger shake huh.” Louis shook his head, scoffing at the audacity the man had, “We don’t want your charity. Go home to your homemaker wife, and cookie-cutter life.”

“That rhymed,” Zayn chirped, ducking his head when Louis sent him another death glare.

“Well, the community center is open to anyone, 24/7, so if you two need anything, stop by. Liam is my best friend, and he’s a good guy. He’ll make you feel more than welcome.”

“Thanks, dickhead.”

The hurt in the man’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed by the younger male, but he looked off down the road to avoid feeling any guilt for how harsh he was being.

“Who should we say sent us?” Zayn shouted when Harry had made it back to the SUV.

Harry turned back, with the same earth-shattering smile Louis hated to admit was growing on him, “Uh, Pastor Styles, Pastor…Harry Styles.”

“God, your name is Harry.” Louis groaned, fake gagging for added effect, “This just gets worse and worse for you, huh.”

“Have a goodnight, God bless.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fuck you!” Louis shouted, throwing a rock at the back of the suburban as it drove away.

“Okay, so hot meals and warm clothes are what we deserve after tonight, so we’re going to that center whether you like it or not.”

“I thought I was the leader of this small gang.”

“No, I just let you think that. He’s not going to be there, and plus, you can see this as our way of ‘sticking it to the man’.”

“Don’t try and butter me up, let’s just go before I talk myself out of it, and make you show up by yourself.”


	5. Chapter 5

“What are we gonna do with B’s weed?” Louis spoke, eyes falling on the gray building and the church house next to it.

“Uhh, I don’t know. I mean, hopefully, they don’t go through our shit; we’ll just stay one night, it’ll be nice to have somewhere to sleep.”

“Yeah, I guess. It’s just…I hate churches.”

“I know Lou, but, we need this, Ohio is fucking cold, and cuddling with you is nice, but warm sheets are better.”

Louis grumbled and groaned the entire walk up to the building, stuffing his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie just to busy his twitchy fingers. The warm air that washed over them was a welcoming feeling, and kind of made the thought of being here not so daunting.

The front desk held a smiling brunette with bright blue eyes. “Hiya, I’m Niall, what can I help you two with.”

“Uhh, Pastor Styles sent us, said we could stay overnight,” Zayn spoke, Louis’ mind so muddled that he couldn’t speak up.

“Oh, okay! Awesome, well, we’ve got showers in the back, and the cupboards have sweats and crewnecks in them. Dinner is over, but I know we’ve got leftover, so I hope you boys like Chili dogs, and French fries.”

“Hey, food is food to us. We aren’t picky.”

“Great, well, follow me, and I’ll get you boys settled.”

The building seemed small on the outside, and Louis hadn’t gotten a good look like around the last time he was here, but the building was a decent size. There were multiple doors on each side of the wall, as Niall lead them to the showers. It was quiet, so he assumed it must be “lights out,” and it made him think of all the other shelters they’d been too and gotten kicked out of. This one would be no different. Once they realized that Zayn and Louis would forever be up to no good, they’d be kicked to the curb like countless times before.

“Communal showers, hope that’s no biggie. Toiletries are in the little cubbies under the showerhead, I’ll go get you two some dinner made, and just meet me back In the lobby when you’re finished up.”

“Okay, thanks.” Zayn, the only one who seemed to have a voice right now.

When Niall walked out, Louis groaned, removing his clothes hastily, “I don’t like this Zayn, I feel like an intruder.”

“Why? We haven’t done anything wrong, and we’re the demographic they’re trying to help, we’re doing them a favor.”

“We’ve got weed in our pockets, they’ll kick us out like all the others, and bam, back to square one.”

“Stop stressing and take a shower, we haven’t bathed in weeks.”

Louis decided to take Zayn’s advice in just enjoy the little things. Like how he got to stand under the spray of hot water, and not worry about it abruptly going out or it going from hot to cold sporadically. He washed the dirt and grime from all over his body and hair. The complementary toothbrush and razor allowed him to brush the filmy gunk off his teeth, and shave the overgrown stubble from his face.

“This is nice, I’m not gonna lie.”

“Right, I’ve never felt water this hot before, they must get it straight from the heavens,” Zayn shouted over the running water.

After basking in the luxury of clean bathwater, the two males stepped out of the showers and grabbed the clothes laid out on the wooden benches. Their malnutrition wasn’t noticeable until they were practically swallowed by the oversized loungewear.

“The pants have pockets, so keep the weed on you,” Zayn whispered to Louis as they made there way back down the empty corridor.

Niall was back at the front desk with two plates of food sitting before him. He smiled when the two boys stood in their same spots form earlier. “How was the water?”

“Fantastic,” Zayn beamed, smiling wide as he tucked his clothes under his arm.

The movement didn’t go unnoticed by Niall as he rose from the black computer chair. He pulled two black backpacks from under the desk, “Here, they’ve got some knick-knacks inside, and you can keep your belongings in them as well. They’re yours to keep. We have washing machines and dryers on the other end if you want to clean your clothes.”

“That would be amazing.”

“Okay, well, just drop them in this basket, and Taylor will get them sorted.”

It was easy to deposit their clothes inside the white hamper, knowing that the green was safe in sound in their possession.

“Okay, follow me, we actually had a light flow tonight, so we have a few extra rooms available. We have singles and doubles.”

“Double.” Zayn and Louis both said, smiling at each other.

“Alrighty then,” Handing them each a plate of food, he lead them back down the same hallway, until they came to a door in the middle.

Niall opened it to reveal a reasonably simple room with two twin beds, adorned in white sheets, and thick gray comforters. Nothing else was in the room except for two posters with scriptures Louis didn’t care to read.

“Breakfast is served at 8:30, you’ll find the daily itinerary on your bed that’ll tell you about everything we’re doing tomorrow. My shift is about to end soon, but Taylor will be coming in to fill my place, so if you need anything, just pop out to the lobby, and she’ll get you taken care of. Have a good night, you two, and God bless.”

“Thanks,” Zayn told the man with a smile, nudging Louis, who gave the guy a tight-lipped grimace.

After Niall made his exit, the two sat on their own firm mattress, munching on the hotdogs and fries as they went through the contents of the backpacks. Louis could admit that everything in the bag was essential. A small throw blanket, two bottles of water, a small baggie filled with non-perishable snacks. Travel-size toiletries, and even a washrag,

“Seriously, a pocket-size Bible.”

“I’m honestly not that surprised,” Zayn said, flipping through the little brown booklet.

“Let’s get some rest, we’ll have breakfast, sell off the rest of Brandon’s weed, and head back to the others.”

“Why can’t we come back here? It’s nice, and they didn’t even question us. We can come super late at night, so there aren’t many people lingering about.”

Louis didn’t want to stare into Zayn’s hopeful hazel eyes. He didn’t like being here even if it was a match made in homeless heaven. They didn’t need to get attached to something that could easily be ripped away from them.

“I dunno Z, I don’t want us to depend on this place, and it ends up biting us in the ass.”

“Can we at least come every other night.” He begged, stashing the bag by the end of his bed.

“Fine! But we won’t come during the day, after 12 only, okay.” Louis chided, stern face to show Zayn he meant business.

“Okay, okay, after twelve.”

***

Harry hoped Louis took him up on his offer. Ohio streets weren’t meant to be slept on at night, and he couldn’t rest easy knowing the boy was out there where he could get hurt or sick.

“Gloria sends her love,” Harry told Madeline, as he placed the bags of Greek cuisine on the marble counter.

“I’m still trying to get her to come to church,” Madeline said through laughter, pulling out the contents of the bag.

“Give it to God.”

“Yeah, she’ll eventually find her way.”

Harry smiled. He couldn’t talk and think about Louis at the same time, so once Madeline started eating, he was able to focus solely on wondering if the tiny loudmouth was safe. He figured after dinner he could call the center, glancing at the microwave clock he knew Niall was still working but would be getting off shift in an hour or so. He powered through his meal and, after clearing his plate, he chugged his glass of water and stood up.

“Uh, I have to call up at the center, so I’ll be in my office.”

“Oh, okay, well, we can still have sex tonight.”

“Okay, let me call, and I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”

Harry entered his study and closing the door gently behind him. Dialing up the community center, Harry awaited an answer.

“Church of Christ community center, this is Niall.”

“Hey! Niall, it’s uh…Pastor Styles.”

“Oh, hey, big man, is something wrong?”

Harry smiled at the worry rising in the male’s voice, “No, uh, I just wanted to call and see about two young adults. I, uh, told them about the program and wanted to see…”

“Oh, uh, yeah! Two boys came in about 12:30. One seemed a little skittish, but the other seemed happy to be in a warm building.”

Harry didn’t need to know who was who. Louis had made it very clear he didn’t want to utilize the center, but his friend Zayn seemed more than eager. “Well, I’ll be by tomorrow morning doing breakfast to just see how they settled in if that’s okay.”

“Of course. I won’t be in though, it’ll be Liam, Sister Darlene, and Raven.”

“Great, well, I’ll see you tomorrow at Wednesday night service.”

“Goodnight, Haz!”

“Goodnight, Ni, be safe, and God bless.”

He couldn’t stop smiling even if he wanted to. Now he knew he probably owed a lot of Louis’ compliance to Zayn, but he would sleep better than ever knowing the boy was safe and warm.

“Everything okay?” Madeline asked toothbrush in her mouth and paste around the sides of her lips.

“Uh, yeah, wanted to check in on the program. I’m gonna pop in there tomorrow during breakfast to talk to some of the youth.”

“That’s great babe,” she walked back into their master bath, “I’ve got spiritual yoga with a few members from the church, so I guess we can just reconnect for lunch?”

“Yeah, that works.”

She came out of the bathroom for the second time in nothing, and Harry expected his member to plump up like it usually did, but he couldn’t. He used all his energy to direct the excitement over seeing Louis tomorrow towards his limp cock.

“I was thinking, maybe we can start trying for a little one.”

Harry wanted kids, he wanted at least four, but he didn’t want them right now, and if he lingered on the idea long enough, he knew deep down he didn’t want them with her. See, once upon a time ago, maybe he could've allowed himself to think that’s what he wanted, but a particular pair of blue eyes had all those ideas changing.

“You’re off your birth control?”

“No, but I _can_ be.”

“Oh, um, well…let's just wait a little while longer, at least until things at the church are where we want them.”

She frowned, walking over to the bed, “Look, I know you love the church, and you’re dedicated to making it an amazing place of worship, but we’re married, and we’ve been married for a while. This big ole house needs some little feet running through it.”

“Yeah, I know, I just want to do it on God’s timing, that’s all.”

“Okay, I just… I don’t get you sometimes H, I mean, you were so excited about starting a family before you took over for Pastor Stevens, now, I just…I don’t know.” He watched her get off the mattress, and head back into the bathroom, “Maybe, we can have sex another night.”

“Mad, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I just, I’m—”

“Not ready, I got it.” she muttered, entering back into the room in her nightwear, “I’m gonna get some rest for tomorrow, love you.”

He watched her settle under the oatmeal brown comforter, “Love you, I’m gonna take a shower.”

He tried not to think about Louis, as he stood under the shower jet. He tried not to imagine the boy’s supple body laid out under him, the permanent scowl replaced with an open panting mouth. He groaned, watching his cock fill instantaneously, the pulse in his penis thrumming through his body.

“Lord God, I have asked you to cleanse me of this unholy thoughts. Please.” He cried out softly, cross dangling around his neck as he watched his member spasm repeatedly.

Harry didn’t want to fall victim to his transgressions again, so he turned the faucet to freezing cold, the water making his unwelcomed guest deflate slowly.

“Lord, guide me. Please.”

***

“Oh my. Pancakes, sausage, eggs, fresh fruit. That’s just what I can see from here!” Zayn whispered to Louis, who was too busy scoping out their surroundings.

There were a few other boys and girls in line that looked to be about their age or younger dressed in the same matching grey sweats and crewnecks.

“Let’s just get our food and get out of here.”

“Holy fuck! Who is that hot piece of ass.”

Louis looked in the direction of Zayn’s current fixation, his eyes landing on a burly brown-haired man with a bright smile. He reminded him of a Golden Retriever. “No, Z, no fornicating with the enemy.”

“Aww, come on, he’s exactly my type. I need a good dicking.” Zayn was frowning at Louis with big eyes.

“No. Besides, he’s like Harry’s right-hand, so super-duper religious.”

“How do you know.”

“Uh, if you remember the day you left me here. I was forced to partake in cult activities, he was here.”

“Doesn’t mean he’s super-duper religious.”

“Zayn, no, it’s a bad idea. I thought you said you liked this place. Trying to bed one of the devout followers will ruin that for you.”

“I just might be willing to give this up for some dick.”

“That’s truly pathetic, my friend.”

“Hey, look, there goes your favorite person.”

Louis could’ve broken his neck from how fast he looked back in the direction of the man Zayn was currently lusting after. He kept his face in a state of neutrality as he watched the pastor smile and converse with the other two men.

“Zayn, I think…I’m gay or bisexual, don’t really know right now.”

Zayn looked Louis in the face, before laughing briefly, “I know.”

“How do you know,” Louis muttered, eyes never leaving the tall brunettes frame.

“Because you haven’t stopped staring at him, and also because I’ve never ever seen you let a person make you as mad as he has in the past few days.”

“He’s just so fake, and it’s nauseating.”

“He’s a pastor, and that bothers you because your feelings for him feel invalid.”

“When did you get so…knowledgeable.”

“I dunno, maybe it’s the free food inspiring me, or you know just being a good friend.”

“Ew, I’ll take it being the free food.”

“Haha. You should probably stop staring though before you know they catch on to us and burn us at the stake.”

He hated that his sexual awakening had to be for a married pastor. Louis could now add this to list of things that made him roll his eyes about his own life. How come it couldn’t be Zayn or the hotdog vendor near the park. It had to be Pastor Styles, someone so unattainable Louis shouldn’t even daydream about being with him.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry had decided on his ride to the community center; he would just avoid Louis. From this point forward, he would enlist Liam to help the male get back on the right track. God was obviously testing not only his spirit but his faith.

Walking into the center, it took every fiber in his being not to seek out the small brunette; instead, he found Liam and asked him about the program.

“Some days we have a full house, and others it’s just a handful, but man Haz, it’s been amazing regardless of the turnout. The ones who do come actually utilize all the resources we offer, and I can tell for most it’s just nice to have a place to go. Niall admitted two new boys last night, said you found them.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. They were hanging around over on Michael, and I just felt like they needed someplace to go.”

“I haven’t gotten to meet them, but I usually do a little meet and greet during breakfast.”

“That’s nice Li, I actually know one of them, he’s the one that I brought in on Monday.”

“Awesome H, I’m glad you convinced him to come back.”

“More so, his friend knew this was a good opportunity, and he convinced him.”

“Either way, the more, the merrier.”

Harry smiled at the overjoyed male, and patted him on the back, “Most definitely.”

When there was a lag in their conversation, Harry couldn’t stop from letting his eyes roam around the banquet hall. The room was moderately filled, so it was easy for him to spot Louis amongst the sea of bodies. He and his friend, Zayn, were eating at a table in the back and away from the others.

“Do you see them?” Liam asked, eyes settling back on Harry, who watched Louis eat.

“Yeah, yeah. The table in the back.” He muttered, caught by surprise when Liam begin to head over.

Although he had vowed to stay away from the smaller male, he knew Liam would be calling him over to say something to the young men. So he pushed down his nerves and followed after his friend.

***

“Oh fuck, my future lover is walking this way, and your man isn’t trailing far behind.”

“We should go like now.”

Zayn frowned, “W-What…why. I wanted some more pancakes and sausage.”

“Oh yeah, I know what type of sausage you want,” Louis mumbled, sticking a slice of pineapple into his mouth.

“Very funny, but no, I’m serious. I want a to-go plate.”

Before Louis could destroy Zayn’s dreams of more food, the burly brunette was standing at their table, a wide smile on his lips.

“Hello! I heard we had new faces joining us today.”

“Those new faces must be us,” Zayn said.

If his smile could’ve been any bigger, it would’ve, “I’m Liam.”

“Zayn, this is my best friend, Louis.”

Louis scowled at the still smiling male. He couldn’t get over how much these people smiled, nothing could make you that fucking happy. Then again, when you have a home, regular meals, and people that love you, maybe so.

Then Pastor Styles was stepping up to the table with that same nauseating smile, and Louis needed to get out of here and fast.

“I’ve gotta use the restroom.” He muttered, rising from his seat and making a hasty exit.

Harry frowned shortly before he gave Zayn a genuine smile, “I’ll go check on your friend.”

“He’ll be okay, he’s not really keen on being here,” Zayn said, shrugging his shoulders as he stole a pancake off Louis’ plate.

“Maybe I can give him a few words of encouragement, “Harry added, already headed for the exit Louis had left out of.

***

“Calm down,” Louis chanted to himself softly outside the center.

The sun was bright and warm as he paced. He kind of wished he had a cigarette to settle his nerves a little, if he really wanted to calm his mind, a blunt would be a better coping mechanism.

“You okay?”

Louis startled, letting his eyes fall on Harry’s towering frame, “Leave me alone. I’m fine.”

“I’m glad you came to the center.”

“I did not do this for you. I did it for Zayn.”

“Okay, well, I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Why? Why are you so _keen_ on helping me, did you commit some awful sin and I’m your ticket to true forgiveness. Jokes on you because saving me won’t save yourself.”

“I know that. How come I can’t just want to help you, and there not be any ulterior motives.”

“Because that’s not how you people work. Tell me, why didn’t you mention to your friend that Zayn’s gay.”

“That’s not my story to tell.”

“That's funny because you sure had a lot to say about his story when you thought he and I were dating.”

“Lou, aren’t you tired of fighting and running. I’m not the bad guy.”

“Fuck you! Don’t call me Lou, like we’re friends, cause we’re not.”

Harry frowned, approaching a hyperventilating Louis, “Why are you so scared of having someone help and care for you?”

“Because it’s fake! People don’t help people like me unless they’re getting something out of it. Even if they are, it’s disingenuous; doing it because they feel it’ll make them look better in society's eyes and God’s eyes.”

“What about those who aren’t religious and help people. Are they doing it just for society?”

Louis thought over Harry’s words, and he hated that the man had a point. “Whatever.”

“Can’t we just be people wanting to help other people because it’s the right thing to do.”

Louis wasn’t really mad about the center, he knew the actual reason behind his rage. It wasn’t because these people wanted to help him, but because he was falling for the man that lead them. Harry’s green orbs were filled with honesty, and mirth as Louis looked at him head-on.

He never really labeled his sexuality. He’d kissed Zayn a handful times, and when he was a lot younger, he had a few wet dreams about his History teacher Mr. Lopez. Laurie had been his first, and she wasn't really his girlfriend, just a girl who wanted to have sex, with someone that was willing and Louis had been. Standing here now as he looked at the Pastor, he felt his stomach roll and a fire bubble in his lower region.

He’s ever only identified as straight because girls are all he paid much attention to. But, now he was standing before a man that he wanted in a way he didn’t expect, and in a way, he wouldn't be able to have.

“I’m gay.” He stated, standing up straight as he kept his eyes locked with Harry’s, “Or bisexual, I haven’t really figured it out, but yeah.”

Harry frowned, looking off into the half-empty parking lot, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it goes along with the point I’m trying to prove on why I can’t stand church people. You know for a fact that Zayn and I shouldn’t be allowed inside your center; because according to your bible, we are an abomination.”

“How can you be straight one minute, then homosexual the next. You’re just saying that to bother me.”

“I’m not saying shit for you, and it’s my body and my life. I can be whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want.”

“You are not gay!” Harry shouted, fury in his eyes as he grabbed Louis by his arms, “So take it back, Louis, take it back.”

“Get off me!” Louis shouted back, wiggling his body to break free from Harry’s hold.

“No!” Harry pushed Louis against the building's cement wall, “You aren’t gay!” he hissed.

“This is assault! I can see it in the papers now, Pastor assaults youth for being gay.”

“Louis, I’m going to give you to the count of three to take it back.” Harry told him teeth gritted as his eyes flitted across Louis’ scowling face, “One…two…THREE! Damn it, Louis!”

Before Louis could demand he be released, and attempt to kick the Pastor in the balls, the older man was kissing him firmly. Louis’ eyes immediately widened before they closed, and he kissed back with just as much fervor.

The kiss was heated and passionate. Louis had no problem using Harry’s thigh that had slotted in between his legs to rub against his groin. When they broke apart, Louis allowed Harry to kiss down his neck.

“Oh, Hazza. Harry…”

Harry was sucking deep and hard against the thin skin under his neck, for sure to leave a decent-sized hickey. The door slamming due to a gust of wind had the Pastor pulling away from Louis altogether. Louis watched him rush off towards the parking lot, pulling a pair of keys from his pocket.

***

Louis composed himself, his breathing erratic and uneven as he made his way back into the building and headed straight for their room. His clothes had been washed and placed on his unmade bed. He made quick work of getting dressed, so he could find Zayn, and they could get out of here.

“Excuse me, have you seen a brunette, dark hair, brown eyes. I was sitting with him earlier.”

“Oh yes, Brother Payne took him to his office to get him some more information about the program, it’s the fourth door on the left.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Louis left out of the banquet hall and located Liam’s office. He wasn't nearly as surprised as he should’ve been to find the two making out heavily in Liam’s computer chair, Zayn balanced in his lap, with his hands pressed firm against the boy’s ass.

Rolling his eyes, he went over and pulled Zayn off the older man, “Look, we’ve gotta go.”

“What! Why?” Zayn whined.

“I’ll explain on the way, just come on.”

Zayn started to follow Louis out the door when Liam fell out of his shock and spoke up.

“Uh, w-will I see you again?”

Zayn smirked, turning on his heels to look Liam in the face, “Do you want to see me again?”

“Umm, y-yes, I do.”

“Okay, I'll see what I can do.”

“Okay, Be safe and careful, I can’t wait to see you again Zayn.”

“You too, Li.”

“For fuck's sake, let's go, lover boy.”

Once they were back in the room, Louis watched Zayn change and pack up his own backpack.

“Can I ask why you look so…flustered.”

“Harry and I kissed, well, he kissed me, and I kissed him back,” Louis pulled the collar of his Adidas sweatshirt down, “And he left this little thing on my neck.”

Zayn's eyes shot out of their sockets as he noticed the bruising hickey, “Hot damn, I guess we both got a little lucky this morning.”

“This isn't luck! Besides, he rushed off when he thought he heard someone coming, and I just, I can’t do this Zayn. He isn’t good for me, he’s the opposite of what I need.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it, everything will be okay.”

Louis knew that what Zayn had said was nowhere near close to the truth. Everything from this point forward would be far from okay because he was in a situation where he didn’t come out victorious. Harry would ruin him, and he didn’t want to acknowledge the small piece of him okay with that.


	7. Chapter 7

“Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned. Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned. Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned” Harry’s eyes were blurry, and his hands were shaking uncontrollably as he gripped the wheel.

He didn’t know where he was headed, and he certainly didn’t care. He just needed God to explain why this was happening to him and why his faith was being tested.

“P-Proverbs 3:5, T-Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on y-your own u-understanding.” Harry yelped, wiping his eyes quickly when the buildup in his eyes became too much, “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight y-your paths.”

Pulling off to the side of the road, Harry rested his forehead on the wheel. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. I’m trusting you, God, but…I don’t understand.”

Harry wanted to blame everyone, but who he really wanted to blame. He wanted to blame Louis the most only because the boy had planted a seed in his head that had not been there before. Harry loved his wife. He’d never doubted his love for her until Louis came along and decided that Harry _didn't_ love her.

“Give me a sign, please anything, Lord. I-I ask that you guide me, Psalms 71:1, In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust. Let me never be put to confusion.”

Harry looked to the sky, eyes squinted as the sun shined down on him. He closed them and breathed in the fresh air. “I am not a bad person. I repent and ask your forgiveness, Lord God.”

Harry didn’t know what he was waiting for, but his phone buzzing in his pocket wasn’t what he wanted. Madeline’s picture filled the screen, and he groaned at realizing that it was a little after twelve. He didn’t know what to say, so he let the call go to voicemail, and after the call rang through, he pressed the button to listen to the minute-long recording.

_Hey, I was just checking on you, I know we said we’d meet back home for lunch, but you’re not here, so I just wanted to say I apologize about my actions last night. Ephesians 4:32. I love you, Harry, and I will always stand by your side. Call me._

“Why! I was happy, God, please don’t do this to me.” He dropped to his knees and cried, slamming his fist into the dirt repeatedly, his hand becoming numb on each hit.

His phone buzzed again, and he fought the urge to throw it into the forest. Looking at the screen to see a message from an unknown number, he clicked to open it, reading the four words slowly.

_We need to talk._

He knew it was Louis, and he found himself getting angry again, “This isn’t for me, so please stop pushing it on me.” Harry spoke out to the man upstairs.

_Meet me at the motel on Coffee street._

“Fine! Fine! If this is what you want, I will do as you say.”

Harry understood that God wanted him to face his problems with Louis head-on. He knew that for true repentance and his sins to be forgiven, he had to do what he didn’t want to, and that was to confront the problem firsthand. God was punishing him for making Louis and Zayn’s aversion okay in the eyes of the Lord when it wasn’t. He had even succumbed to his own iniquities more than once, and one of those times on holy ground. He deserved to have his shame thrown in his face when he’d done nothing but disrespect the Lord’s sanctuary.

So rising to his knees and wiping his clouded eyes, Harry made his way back to the SUV, “Psalm 51:10, Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

***

“Do you want me to wait around?”

“No, just, I’ll meet you back under the bridge. I just want this to be nipped in the bud so I can move on with my life. He's not worth losing the last bit of sanity I have.”

“If you say so, I just don’t want him to try and hurt you.”

“Z, that would go against everything he’s about.”

“I guess…just call me okay.”

“Of course, I love you, Zaynie.”

“Love you too, Lou-Lou.”

***

Harry looked down at the last message Louis sent telling him he was in room nine. Searching the doors, he found the last one on the first floor to be his designated door. He’d called Madeline on his way over here, and told her that he was doing outreach for a group of kids. Which, yes it was a lie, but he didn’t have the guts to tell her the real reason. His plan going into this would be to apologize for what he'd done and try to get Louis to also make his way to Christ.

Knocking twice, he waited a lot longer than expected. For a split second, he thought he had the wrong door, that is until a frowning Louis opened the door and without any sort of greeting moved to let him inside.

“What took you so long,” Louis muttered.

“I wasn’t just sitting by my phone waiting for you to call.” Harry shot back, his own frown falling over his face.

“Oh, it looks like Pastor Styles finally let the happy-go-lucky façade go.”

“I’m not here to argue. I’m here to ask your forgiveness, and to apologize for what I did. As a man of faith, what I did to you was sinful, and I have asked God to for—”

“Would you shut the fuck up with that shit. Like, damn, just fucking apologize; you don’t have to explain your whole life story to me!”

“I’m trying to apologize! But of course, you can’t stop talking for one second to allow me to do that!”

“Oh, so this all my fault! You kissing ME is my fault. You sound pathetic.”

“You’re putting words in my mouth,” Harry gritted, running his hand through his short strands. “I take full responsibility for what I did, and I don’t blame anyone.”

“Okay, so you apologized, now go.”

“No way. You made me come out here, why?”

“I was going to tell you too fuck off, and don’t ever do what you did to me again.” Louis plopped down on the queen mattress, rubbing his eyes, “Tell you I don’t need your fucking apology, and just to leave me alone.”

“Why did you buy this room, Louis?” Harry asked.

“I didn’t. The guy who works the counter likes Zayn, so I got it for free.”

“Likes Zayn or likes you.” Harry hissed.

“Does it fucking matter! Not to you, it shouldn’t, so you can fucking leave.”

“Homosexuality is a sin, you’ll burn in hell.”

“Oh, I'll burn alright. Can I be burning while a man fucks me, wouldn’t even care that I’m on fire cause the sheer pleasure as he fucks me over and ov—”

“Quit!” Harry yelled, grabbing Louis up for the second time that day, “You better stop.”

“Stop what! It’s who the fuck I am now, and you don’t have to be okay with it, so let me burn in hell, at least I know I got fucked good.”

“Louis STOP!” Harry shook the tiny body he had gripped tightly in his arms before he threw the boy on the mattress, his body bouncing as he settled.

Louis’ eyes were wide, and Harry had expected the boy to look frightened, but the lust floating in the blue eyes had him groaning. “Matthew 6:13, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Everything after that was a blur of flailing limbs and searing kisses. Louis moaned deeply as Harry devoured his neck as if it were his last meal. They removed their clothes hastily, kissing as often as their lips could meet. Harry was like a madman, he hadn’t had sex in almost two months, and he needed this. He felt that if he just scratched this itch, got it over with, and repented, he could go about his life.

“Please, do something,” Louis begged, pulling on Harry’s leaking cock, which had the man hunching forward.

Harry didn’t know how sex with a man went, but he assumed it was just like sex with a woman, just different parts. So he took Louis red cock into his mouth and sucked greedily.

“Oh fuck, yes!”

He worked Louis cock over in his mouth for a few minutes, just long enough to have the boy panting and whining. Sliding down to the bare pink pucker, Harry latched on sucking and licking the tight ring of muscle.

“Harry! Shit, fuck, yes… I’m gonna cum.”

Harry sat up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “No, you cum when I fuck you.”

Groaning, Louis frowned, “Please, I’m so close, j-just let me cum.”

“I see someone finally learned some manners. The answer is still no.”

Louis cried, reaching for his own penis only to have his hand slapped away by Harry, “You’re the fucking worst.”

“Hush, Do you have a condom?”

“Uh, yeah, in the pocket of my hoodie.” The blush against the tan skin was so unlike Louis that Harry smirked. To see the boy go from a loudmouth menace to this blushing pixie was enthralling

“So, you wanted this to happen?”

“Maybe, just get the fucking condom,” Louis grumbled, falling back against the mattress.

“You didn’t bring any lube?”

“No, it’s fine, just, go slow, the slick from the condom will help.”

“I’m not doing it without lube. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Ugh, fine! The bathroom, check in there for something.”

Harry rose from the bed and entered the small bathroom. His eyes landed on the complimentary lotion, so he snatched it up and made his way back to the bed. Before joining the stunning boy, he allowed himself the luxury of watching Louis. His eyes were closed, long, thick eyelashes resting against his cheekbones. Chest rising and falling slowly, as he played with his hole, teasing his entrance with just the tip of his middle finger, slipping it in slightly just to pull it back out.

He was just going to scratch the itch and be done with this, be done with Louis.

“I got the lotion, that should be fine, right?”

“Yeah, just come on, please, I need you to fuck me Hazza, I need it so bad.”

“Okay,” Harry whispered, positioning himself back in front of Louis' raised ass.

Taking a dollop of the white cream, he rubbed it around Louis ring, before taking his pointer finger and pushing in. He was amazed at how Louis’ body sucked the digit further inside, as he worked the finger in and out. He watched with so much rapt attention that he’d forgotten about the panting boy above him.

“S-Sorry, it’s just…so fucking hot, the way your body sucks me in, I can’t wait to put my dick in you.” Harry tried to steer clear of cursing, but it was the only way he could truly express what Louis’ body did to him.

“Well, then do it.” Louis’ whimpered, glazed eyes falling on Harry’s face before they closed again.

The initial push was a lot harder than Harry expected, it took a few more tries before his thick head was snug inside Louis’ walls. He groaned, never having felt something so good. It took all willpower he could muster not to ram into the boy, but Louis was so relaxed that the rest of the journey into his depths was easily done.

Flushed skin to flushed skin felt amazing to Harry as he concentrated on his pulsing cock against Louis’ walls. How he wishes they had foregone the condom so the brunette could truly feel Louis’ body.

“Fuck!” He shouted when Louis clenched down.

“Yeah, feels good don’t it, feel even better if you fucking move.”

So move he did, pounding relentlessly into the hole that he would give anything to stay inside of, Louis was so delicate and bewitching. His fantasy hadn’t done the boy justice, and his honeyed skin looked edible as Harry leaned forward to suck a hickey into his left pec.

His orgasm was ebbing at the edge of explosion, and he repositioned his body so that he could get deeper into the sloppy entrance. Louis was a puddle of drool and sweat, fluttering eyes as he tried to watch Harry fuck into him. When the older man nudged against his prostate, Louis came instantly clamping around Harry’s dick and forcing the brunettes orgasm from his own body.

“Fuck!” they cried in unison, Harry’s body ceasing up as he emptied into the condom.

Heavy breathing filled the room. Louis pulled Harry’s face from out of the crook of his sweaty neck to kiss the man deeply, their tongues lodged into each other's mouth so far that spit was dripping on their chins.

“Can I lick on your hole some more, please, just for a little,” Harry muttered against Louis’ lips.

“Fuck, yes. Please, d-daddy.” Louis mewled, leaning forward to briefly suck Harry’s bottom lip into his mouth.

“Thank you.”

Harry was like a starved man as he licked into the worn hole. He watched it flutter open like a blooming flower, “Why is this so fucking hot, hold it open for me Lou, so I can lick inside you.”

Louis managed to keep his hole open as Harry licked inside, sucking on the ring, before taking two fingers in plunging them into Louis’ body.

“Oh, fuck!”

“I-I have to fuck you again, I’m sorry, but I-I need to.”

“I’m so sensitive, but I want you to, please daddy, fuck me again.”

“Alright, baby, love having you call me that. Gonna fuck you again, nice and slow.” This time Harry removed the condom, “I’ve only ever slept with my wife.”

“I’ve only slept with one person too, I’m clean.”

Harry used that confession as his queue to pummel into Louis’ body. The boy’s curses and cries egging him on. “Forgive him, Lord, for he has sinned.” Louis moaned.

***

Neither of them knew what time it was, and neither of them cared. The box TV only got in the local news channel and old westerns. They settled for old westerns as they snuggled under the starched comforter.

“It’s weird how you’re so pliant and soft in bed, but outside you’re a little asshole,” Harry mumbled into Louis’ hair.

“Being on your own does that to you, I can’t be like this out there. They’d eat me alive.”

Harry frowned, kissing Louis’ temple, “I understand, I’m glad that I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.”

“Yeah, me too.” Louis whispered, turning his head up to allow Harry to kiss him on the lips, “Maybe this can be our thing until, you know, you leave your wife, and then maybe we can move somwhe—”

Harry sat forward, “Louis slow down, and hold on a second. I-I’m not leaving my wife, this was a one-time thing, for both of us I’d hope. You’ll find a nice girl, and I can finally start a family.”

Louis’ world tilted, and he felt as if he’d just been the punchline of a horrible joke, “What! Harry I’m-I’m not straight, I’m gay.”

“You just need guidance, and I can help guide you. Now that we’ve got this out of our system, we can be faithful men of christ.”

It was like being run over repeatedly, having something that you've waited so long for being ripped away from. Like he was back in that house with his god awful parents. Shooting out of bed, he rushed to get his clothes on, willing the tears that were eager to fall to hold back until he was alone. He wouldn’t cry in front of Harry, the bastard wouldn’t get the satisfaction.

“You can go fuck yourself repeatedly on a barbed wire stick, that is also covered in poison. I fucking hate you, I gave you my virginity, thought you realized that this could be something real between us, just for you to fuck it all to hell.”

Harry was stunned, and he watched Louis move around the room frantically, slowly standing up from the bed, “Louis, I’m not gay. I just wanted to get this out of my system, and now I can go back to how things are supposed to be.”

Louis opened the motel room door. Looking back at Harry with tears on his eye line threatening to fall and roll down his reddened cheeks, “I was falling so fucking hard for you, why’d you go and screw it up.”


	8. Chapter 8

The moment Louis saw Zayn, he ran straight into the brunette’s arms with tears streaming down his face. The middle of his throat hurt horribly as he tried to hold back the need to cry out.

“Lou, what’s wrong, t-talk to me…you’re scaring me,” Zayn said, lips pressed firmly against Louis’ skull.

“H-He…I…I…” Thinking over how he would tell his best friend that he gave up his virginity to a homophobic bastard made him cry harder.

“Calm down, babe, you’re shaking.”

“I had sex with him, Z. And he… and he…” Louis pushed his palms against his eyes, “FUCK!”

“He left you?”

“Pretty much, I mean, I left, but he said we would never be anything…that what we did was a one-time thing, and just to get it out of our system.” Louis wiped the dripping snot from under his nose, “He’s in denial about me being gay, said he could put me on the right track.”

“What a fucking dick.” Zayn grumbled, pulling Louis back under his arm, “We don’t have to go back there, I wouldn’t want him to try and confront you again or something.”

“I like him so fucking much, and the bastard wouldn’t even think about leaving his wife for me. I feel so dirty and used, fuck, it hurts so bad because I know that if he came around again…”

“You’d be a goner.” Zayn frowned, kissing Louis’ temple, “Been there, done that.”

“Part of me feels bad for him for being so fucking clueless. It’s obvious he’s not happy with her, I get angry at the fact that he’d rather be unhappy than be with me.”

“His inner demons have nothing to do with you, Lou. If anything you helped him realize something about himself, he wouldn’t have noticed until they’d popped out a few kiddos.”

“Doesn’t matter, he wants to start a family with her, and he wants to be with her.”

“Come on, Jade said we can crash with her and Brandon for a month since her mom went to Jersey to visit her sister.”

“Oh, thank fuck. After spending a night indoors, I was dreading staying under the bridge.”

“Nah, you’ve had a rough day, you deserve a good night’s rest on a lumpy couch.”

Louis laughed loudly, wrapping Zyan in another hug, and squeezing him tightly, “I love you, Z.”

“Love you more, Lou-Lou.”

***

Walking into his home, Hary felt empty, he felt unaccomplished and like he wanted to run to the bathroom and throw up whatever he could push out of his body. He had expected things with Louis to go a lot differently. The way things went was not what he wanted for their budding friendship if he could even call it a friendship. The exit Louis made had the man thinking that it’d be a long time before he saw those incredible blue eyes again. He didn’t get it. Every time he acknowledges the idea of never seeing Louis again, his heart would ache.

“Where have you been, Pastor Stevens had to step in to teach your lesson, and you missed Wednesday supper!” Madeline asked, frown lines deepening as her eyes settled on her husband. “I've been trying to call you.”

“I know, I left my phone in the truck, I’m sorry… it ran a lot longer than expected.” He mumbled, pushing past her on his way into the kitchen.

“ I bought you leftovers from the service.” She watched him move around the kitchen, sadness floating in his mossy green eyes, “I’m sorry I yelled. It’s just not like you to miss service. Are you okay? Did something happen at the outreach?”

“Uh, no, I just…Nothing. I’m fine, promise.” He muttered, sitting at the breakfast bar to eat his dinner.

Her phone interrupted any chance of confronting this obvious obstacle her husband was facing. Harry watched her take the phone call until he, of course, zoned out and found himself daydreaming about Louis. What a relationship with the male would be like if they had eloped.

“Are you serious!” Madeline shouted, drawing Harry’s attention.

“What,” He asked with rapt interest.

The hand she held up towards him, made the man roll his eyes and continue eating his food. When she finally hung up the phone, her face was ashen, and she looked terrified to tell Harry whatever it is she knew. From her body language, he immediately assumed she knew about his affair with Louis and tried to brace himself for her wrath.

“Liam stepped down from his position. He told Pastor Stevens he’s…g-gay, and that he doesn’t think he can have any attachments to the church anymore.

“WHAT!?” Harry yelled, standing from the barstool, making it tip over and clatter to the linoleum, the sound echoing throughout their home.

She was frowning at her distraught husband, “H, I-I…I’m so sorry.”

“I have to go.” Harry rushed from the kitchen, scooping his keys from out of the ceramic bowl.

***

Harry slammed his fist against Liam’s apartment door, listening to the shuffling had his anger bubbling again. The second the door cracked open, he was pushing his way inside and shoving Liam's shoulders.

The man regained his balance as he stared wide-eyed at Harry, “What in the hell is your problem!”

“You! You are my problem! How in the fuck do you think springing something like this on me and the church is fair.”

“Harry, you need to calm down, it’s not that serious.”

“The hell it is! Liam, you were my right-hand, I-I trusted you, and relied on you.”

“Okay, well, Niall is second after me, so, there you go.”

“No, y-you just don’t get it do you.”

“What am I not getting H?”

“I need you, Liam, we grew up together in that church, we’re best friends. How come this is the first I'm hearing about you being gay?”

“It was no secret, H, I just, I knew you’d judge me, and I didn't want that.”

“Luke 6:37, do not judge, and you will not be judged.”

“Harry cut the fucking shit, you are the most churchiest person I know. You would’ve judge the hell outta me. I was young and naïve, so your approval and acceptance was far more appealing than being outcasted and shunned.”

Harry frowned, watching Liam become angry, “Is that truly how you saw our relationship.”

“Yes, I did, and I‘m just being honest.”

“Liam, you are like a brother to me, I would never…”

“Harry, this isn't about brotherhood and close ties. This is about me being a gay man, and knowing that my best friend wouldn’t just accept me as that, but instead would insist on changing me and _fixing_ me.” Liam finally let his wandering eyes settle on a grim-faced Harry. “This is about you being a devoted Christian who would always look at me with faith-tinted glasses.”

“Homosexuality is a sin. Leviticus 18:22, do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, is a detestable sin.”

“Fuck you, man, and get the fuck outta my house,” Liam shouted. “Gluttony is a sin, eating pork is a sin, working on Saturday is a sin, the list goes on and fucking on. You can not pick and choose when one sin is worse than another; that’s not how it works. God loves me for _me_ , he loves that I love helping people, and that I do the things I do because I want to better this world. I certainly don’t need a kiss ass like you telling me he doesn’t, so again, get the fuck out of my house. We’re done.”

Liam didn’t allow Harry, any chance to get out what he wanted to say as he hauled him out of the one bedroom. His apology was poised at the end of his mouth when the door was slammed in his face. Harry had managed to lose two important people in his life in one night, and he wanted to question God, but he felt like deep down he wouldn’t be heard.

***

“Lou, stop sulking. Look, we have a place to crash for the month, we’ll try and get proper jobs, save up so we can move to Cali, and live the good life.”

Louis’ smile wasn't big, but he managed to quirk the right side of his mouth. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Perk up, There are a bunch of hot guys lingering around, and all you need is a nice rebound to get back on track.”

“Rebound, with a guy?” Louis seemed skeptical, watching Zayn get comfortable under the thick blanket.

“Yeah. I know you want Harry to be your one and only Lou, but that’s not realistic, and you should realize that now.”

“If you think so…”

“Great, we’ll go out this Saturday.”

Louis didn’t want to tell Zayn that he felt sleeping with another guy, so soon wasn’t what he had in mind. No matter how tough Louis thought he was, what happened between him and Harry had ripped a hole in his already torn heart.

Coming to terms with his sexuality had also been unexpected, and the one person he wanted to navigate this new world with didn’t want anything to do with him. He’d allowed the wall he built up over the years to crumble for a man who wasn’t standing there when it fell.

***

“Harry, sweetheart, why are your eyes red.”

“Just, I need to be alone Maddi, that’s all I need from you right now.”

“O-Okay, I love you.”

Harry didn’t give her a response, passing her up to get to his study. Liam and Louis hated him, and he’d cried so much on the ride home that the migraine pounding throughout his head made him feel sick.

“You are being selfish, God, you are upturning my life, and for what? I was fine before, happy.” He slammed his hand against the desk, “I serve you wholly and righteously. I’ve done nothing but be faithful to you, and now my life is in pieces. Why!”

“Harry, honey, I heard loud banging, are you okay?”

“I’m fine! Just leave me alone, DAMN IT!” He roared out, grabbing the first thing he could, an award from the church, and tossing it at the closed door.

“I’m just trying to figure out why our God is punishing me. Why my life as I know it is falling apart when I’ve done NOTHING but serve him.”

“Liam just needs guidance, forgiveness, and repentance. You can give him all of those things, Harry. God is calling on you to bring him back to his faith.”

He wanted to scream out to her that no, he wasn't. God wasn’t calling on him for anything, no, God was fucking with him, and he didn’t get why. The almighty was the reason that he now questioned his own sexuality and felt Liam’s confession was being rubbed in his face.

“Liam was my best friend for all my life. We grew up together, went to bible school together, and experienced all there is to go through _together_. He kicked me out of his home and pretty much told me that I was dead to him. My best friend of twenty-three _years_ doesn't want anything to do with me.”

“Proverbs 3:5, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

Harry sighed, feeling as though he was talking to a brick wall, “T-Thanks Mad, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay, I love you. Don’t stress, God will always make a way.”

“Yeah.”

He knew she wouldn’t understand. He knew the capacity of her thinking outside of the suggested norm was not that big, and he didn’t fault her for that. God wouldn’t make a way for him because he was the reason Harry was struggling to keep his life from falling into shambles. All he had right now was himself.

***

“Hot damn, you look fucking hot, Lou,” Zayn said, whistling for added effect.

It was Saturday night, and they were headed out for the night, planning to hit a few bars in the area, and land Louis a hot rebound. He’d put on his tightest black jeans, a white t-shirt under his jean jacket, and his lucky black vans, aka the only pair of shoes he owned.

“Are you sure? Don't just say that to make me feel good.”

“No, you look amazing. Hope Liam doesn’t get distracted by your bum, and leave me for it.”

Louis laughed loudly, pushing Zayn’s shoulder, “Shut up.”

Liam had asked around for Zayn in order to reconnect with him. When Friday rolled around, he managed to track him down, and they spent the entire day playing twenty questions. He revealed his leaving of the church to be with Zayn, and expressed how everyone, except a Niall person, had turned their back on him. Liam was so kind, and it bothered Louis even more that Harry had done to Liam what he’d done to him. But, it made him happy that Zayn finally had someone in his life that cared about his well being. The older male had even offered to let them move in with him, but Zayn declined, not wanting to ruin their budding relationship by rushing to live together.

Louis overall felt bittersweet to the ordeal, seeing that he too had fallen for a churchman but ended up receiving an unfavorable outcome. Harry was probably knee-deep in prayer right now, and haven’t even thought about Louis. It hurt to think about, but it was his motivation to actually attempt to have a good night.

“He should be here in a few minutes. We’ll go to Donny’s on Micheal, and work our way around.”

“Okay, sweet. Let’s hope I can get laid, I might try out topping.”

“Why in the hell would you do that,” Zayn said, “Have you seen your ass? It’s bottom material.”

“So no topping?”

“I mean, if you insist, did you not like it with Harry?”

“What!? N-No! It was…It was perfect with him.” Louis whispered, blushing a rosy red.

“Oh, fuck yeah, you are most definitely a bottom,” Zayn told the brunette, laughing at Louis’ pouting.

“You are the absolute worst,” Louis grumbled, smiling at Zayn still hunched over laughing.

Zayn composed himself and wiped away fake tears, “Oh, god, the worst.”

***

“I’m gonna go for a drive. I need to think and clear my mind, I’ll be back later.” Harry told Madeline, who was reading her scriptures in their family room.

“Alright. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just need fresh air, and an open mind.”

“Okay, well, I love you.”

“I love you too,” he kissed her chestnut curls before heading outside to his SUV.

Harry hadn’t been doing anything but thinking about Louis. He was due to preach tomorrow morning, and he didn’t have any sort of sermon put together for tomorrow's service. Blue eyes mocked him and had him aching to be holding a particular body close again. It’d been two days since their fall out. Harry hadn’t tried to reach out to the younger man, afraid that his calls would go unanswered, and fearful that Louis would rip apart the apology he’d practiced over and over.

Liam had also cut contact with him. He was turned away at the man’s apartment lobby, and had his number blocked. Nothing hurts most when the ones you held dear, didn’t care if you were around or not. Madeline was trying her hardest to be there, even though she didn’t know the true depths of Harry’s turmoil.

“I’m afraid to ask you for a sign because all the signs you tend to give me end up harming me than helping.” Harry muttered out loud, eyes briefly flitting from the empty road to the sky.

He’d made it into town, Saturday nightlife raging on as he drove through the semi-crowded streets. Gazing over the crowds of people coming in and out of bars, he found himself almost braking amid traffic.

“What in the…”

Walking out of a brightly lit nightclub was Louis and a man that looked much older than the boy. “Is this your sign? Because if it is, then very funny.”

The two were holding hands as they ventured down the street, and Harry’s green monster was back in full effect. They'd had sex only two days ago, and the brat was already flinging himself at another man. Parking and exiting his car was all a blur. Walking up to the unsuspecting couple, and yanking Louis out of the unknown date’s arms was also uncalled for on Harry’s part.

“What the hell!” Louis yelled, staring up at Harry with angry eyes, “What the fuck are you doing, psycho.”

“You know this guy?” Said the unknown man with short blonde hair, and large blue eyes, not paying Harry any attention.

“Not really, he told me being gay was a sin and that I’d burn in hell.”

Blondie was now staring at Harry with raised eyebrows, “Oh really.”

“Yeah,” Louis pulled his arm from Harry’s loose grip, “I don’t know what he’s doing here now when he should be home with his _wife_.”

Before any more could be said about him, Harry grabbed hold of Louis’ arm again and pulled the shorter male off in the direction of his Suburban.

“Harry! Let go of me!” Louis shouted, using all his strength to try and get out of the grip.

“Why are you out here, with some stranger? You should be at home. He could have a disease or be trying to have unprotected sex with you.

“Uh, that’s the point of a booty call.”

Harry pinned Louis to the white SUV, “You wanted him to have sex with you.”

The anger floating in the green eyes satisfied Louis’ need to see the man bothered by the idea of him with anyone else. “Yes, I did, now if’ you’d excuse me I’m gonna try an—”

“You’re not gonna try and do shit, but let me take you home.”

“We aren’t together, remember, you chose your perfect life.” Louis hissed, wiggling his body as he glared at the taller man.

“That doesn’t mean you get to go out and sleep around!”

Louis’ eyes could have fallen out of their sockets, “Uh, yeah, the fuck it does!”

“Get in the car now.”

“No!”

“Louis, now.”

Groaning, Louis turned around, yanking on the passenger door hard as he got in the seat, “I’m pretty fucking sure this is kidnapping.”

“Quiet. It’s not.”

Harry got in the driver’s seat and quickly drove off. “I can’t believe you were out there by yourself.”

“I wasn't! Had you given me a chance to explain and not been so fucking controlling, you would know that Zayn was with me.”

“Why weren’t you with Zayn then?”

“Because he's with Liam, and the entire point of going out tonight was so I could get fucked and get over you.”

“Liam? Zayn and Liam are together…you’re trying to get over me.”

“Yeah, and I heard how you turned your back on him, really fucked up. And of course I’m trying to get over you. We will _never_ be!”

Harry’s thoughts were racing, and he couldn’t pick between questioning Zayn and Liam or questioning Louis. The easiest decision at this moment was pulling over into an empty parking lot.

“Liam met Zayn at the program, that’s where they got together?” Harry started off when he put the car in park.

“Yes. He searched around for Zayn’s number, and when he finally found it, they met up.”’

“We can’t be together because it’s wrong, Louis.”

“Yes, I _know_ that. You don’t fail to remind me. Which is the reason I was out with that guy.”

“You shouldn’t just get with the first person you see, it’s not safe.”

“He wasn’t the first guy, I had about three different guys talk to me, he just happened to be the hottest.”

Harry gripped the steering wheel, his eyes pressed tightly, together, “You aren’t sleeping with anyone.”

“Oh my fucking, here we go again.”

“I mean it, Louis.”

“You aren’t my _daddy_.”

Harry was on the male faster then you could say go, kissing at his wet lips fervently and biting at the thin flesh ever so often.

“H-Hazza,” Louis moaned, fingers reaching up to pull at Harry’s short brown strands.

Harry took refuge in the crook of Louis’ neck, sucking and biting at the salty skin. “I’ve missed you,” he mumbled, kissing his words into the flesh.

“M-Missed you too, daddy.”

“Sorry, I was so crazy.”

“Love when you’re crazy. C-Crazy for me only.”

“Only for you, nobody else.”

Harry palmed at Louis dick, making the smaller male arch up into his hand. He worked his large palm over the skintight material, ministrations faltering when Louis began to return the gesture. Tiny, nimble fingers prodding at his hardened member.

“Oh fuck, I’m…I’m gonna cum soon,” Harry said breathily against Louis’ moist earlobe.

“M-Me too, your hands make me feel so fucking good.”

“Same here, baby.”

As their hands sped up, the kisses they shared became more languid and sloppy. The trail of hickeys Harry left behind catching the older man’s eye and making him press down harder onto Louis member. They came in unison, and as they panted heavily in the stuffy, warm car, they kissed with passion.


	9. Chapter 9

“We have to stop doing this,” Louis whispered into the darkened car, pushing his face into Harry’s bare chest.

Harry kissed the top of his head, “You make me feel things that I don’t want to feel. You drive me crazy, and I want to fuck you repeatedly for the rest of my life.”

Louis sat up, the cold leather making his body shiver as he rested his back against it. “So why won't you leave her for me? I bet you still fuck her too?”

“Actually, we haven’t had intercourse in over two months, and it wouldn’t matter if I did or not because she’s my wife, Louis. She isn’t a fleeting girlfriend that I could just up and leave. We built a life together, she was there through everything, and I love her.”

“No, you don’t! How can you say you love her, but in the same breath, do this with me?”

“Because this is a _fling_. I just can’t control myself around you, and that’s that.”

Putting back on his clothes, Louis frowned, “You are a piece of fucking work. I can’t believe I let you fuck me again. I’m so dumb for thinking you’d change.”

Harry watched Louis redress, “What do you want from me, Louis! Asking me to leave my wife, and the life I built with her is a lot.”

“How! How is being genuinely happy asking a lot?”

Harry sighed, pushing his untamed strands from out of his face, “It just _is_.”

“Take me home. We aren’t doing this again, I have morals, and more respect for myself then to constantly be your booty call.”

“You’re acting like a child. If you were as grownup as you think you are, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“This has nothing to do with _age_ , this has to do with you being in fucking denial about what you want! If anybody is the child in this scenario, it’s you.”

“My wife doesn’t deserve to have her world torn apart over what could easily be a one-off situation.”

“TAKE. ME. HOME. NOW!”

“No, you're upset, and I don’t want us to leave on bad terms again. I lo–like you to much.”

“You are insane like you need to be admitted or some shit. One minute you’re saying how you would never be with me, just to turn around and say you _like_ me.”

“Madeline is a good person, she loves and supports me. You’ve been nothing but rude and awful.”

“Why in the fuck would I treat you nicely when you told me I would burn in hell.”

“I’m sorry for saying that it was out of anger and wrong of me.”

“Harry, you’re confusing me,” Louis whined, rubbing his temples.

The older man leaned forward and kissed the boy softly, “I don’t know what will happen between the two of us, and I can’t promise you anything right now. But, I know that you make my insides come to life in a way they’ve never been before.”

“So, you want me to be your mistress and let you fuck me senseless whenever you want.”

“Just until I can figure out what it is I want.”

Louis knew with every fiber in his body he needed to tell Harry no. Tell him that he had more respect for himself to not be someone’s concubine. Except, Harry had been the first thing in Louis’ life that lit his heart a flame, and made him want to live again.

“Ugh, Hazzy, I don’t…” He was cut short when Harry pulled down his shirt to trail feather-light kisses across his collarbones. “Oh.”

“Let me fuck you again, and then you can tell me your answer.”

“Okay.” Louis moaned, taking his shirt back off, his unbuttoned jeans following directly after.

Harry fucked Louis doggy style in the back of his suburban in an empty parking lot. They were lucky the lot was deserted because Louis’ screams were most definitely slipping through the cracked windows.

***

“So you ditched Ricky, to be fucked by Harry three times in the back of his car?” Zayn looked dumbfounded and bored with what Louis had just told him.

“Uh, yeah.”

“So, basically, you’re _choosing_ to be a homewrecker.”

“He fucks me so good Zayn. Like I know he’s the only guy I’ve been with but, it’s indescribable.”

“Well, you could be getting fucked by a guy who isn’t afraid to show you off, and be with you in public.”

“Can’t you just be happy for me!”

“I can’t be happy for you when this will end with your heart more broken then it was before.”

“Well, if you aren’t going to be happy for me, then I don’t want to talk about this anymore with you.”

“Fine, I just hope you get your shit together before it’s too late.”

***

“Fuck! Right there, Haz, baby yes, please don’t stop.”

Harry was fucking into Louis’ hole at a brutal pace, bent over the boy’s body as he grunted into his neck, “Your hole loves my cock, I love that you want me so bad.”

“Want you so, so, bad. Ugh, right there, it feels so good.”

“Yeah, you feel amazing.” Harry pulled out all the way, making Louis whine, he allowed a spit bubble to fall from his lips, and over Louis gaping hole. He pushed the fluid inside before it could drip down and onto the motel comforter.

“Daddy, fuck me, please.”

“No, butterfly, I’m gonna eat you out a little, your little pucker makes me hungry.”

“Nooo, want your cock.” Louis groaned.

“We don’t beg,” Harry whispered against the wet flesh before licking into the delicious void that lay between quivering legs.

Harry found eating Louis out to be his favorite past time, the boy tasted like something and nothing all at the same time. His mouth would water, and he would find his saliva building to the point that Louis’ hole was covered heavily in it.

“Please, I need your cock inside me.”

Harry grunted, pulling his face away from the opening with reluctance, “Fine, my butterfly, I will give you what you want.”

“T-Thank you, Daddy.”

His ‘you’re welcome’ came in the form of him pounding into the spent boy. He worked his hips hard, never slowing as Louis cried out, and came all over his stomach and Harry’s chest. When his cock was clamped down on, he came inside of Louis with a loud grunt, pushing his hips as hard as he could, to drop his seed in the shaking body.

“Wish you were a girl, would fuck a baby into you.” He whispered into Louis’ ear.

“Want all your babies Daddy,” Louis slurred, glazed eyes raking over Harry’s face.

The older male sucked the boy’s bottom lip into his mouth before licking thoroughly inside. “Let’s get cleaned up.”

“Okay.”

Louis let Harry carry him into the motel bathroom. He was placed on the closed toilet seat as Harry turned on the showerhead and checked the water temperature with his hand.

“Come here, butterfly.” Harry wrapped Louis close and placed their bodies under the warm spray. “I heard from Niall that Liam is moving to California, has…has Zayn said anything to you about it?”

“Yeah, we all plan to move there, actually. Zayn and Li have been looking at apartments, said I can crash in the spare bedroom until I get on my feet.”

“W-Wait, you’re leaving too?”

Louis leaned out of Harry’s loose hold to stare up at the puzzled green eyes, “You didn’t think I was going to hang around here being your dirty little secret for the rest of my life, did you?”

“Well, no, but…but I mean, we’ve had three amazing weeks together, I just assumed you were happy.”

Louis pulled entirely out of Harry’s hold, staring down at the water that disappeared through the drain, “Harry I’m not happy, I’m _comfortable_. I like what we have, but I’ve come to realize that this is it for you…for us.”

“That doesn’t mean I want you to move across the world.”

“It’s not across the world, and it’s not like you’ll be alone. You can work on your marriage since that seems to be something you want, maybe me being gone will help that.”

Louis stepped from out of the bathtub, grabbing one of the provided towels and drying off as he entered back into the suite. Harry was quick to follow behind him.

“You leaving is not even close to what I want. Lou, baby, y-you can’t…don’t leave, please.”

“Harry, I’ve already made up my mind, I can start fresh and get my shit together. Ohio is a shithole, and I’m tired of expecting things to change on their own.”

“Why would you spring this on me now!”

Louis was baffled by Harry’s anger, “You fucking asked!”

“I asked about Liam, not about you packing up your shit and leaving me.”

“Here you go again with your insanity. Like, I don’t get it. I tell you that I’m leaving, which gives you a chance to fix your fucking marriage, and I’m still the bad guy.”

“You aren’t leaving, I…I…”

“You what Harry? You won’t have a fuckbuddy or someone who’ll put up with your crap.”

“No! I won’t have you!”

“I’ve gotta go, Z and Liam need help packing up his apartment.”

“Louis…please.”

Although they fucked regularly, Louis’ wall had been built back up, and he had kept Harry at a distance. He didn’t expect nothing but the bare minimum from the older man. But watching Harry fall to his knees, and stare at him with big red eyes, the wall being to crack in some places.

“Harry, calm down, we aren’t leaving soon, we’re just…making preparations.”

“You are not going anywhere.”

And that’s why he kept his wall up, “Goodbye, Harry.”

***

“I’m proud of you for not caving and telling him you’d stay.”

“Yeah, well, those teary, green eyes almost had me for a second, then, of course, dumbass had to go and ruin it by being overly possessive and demanding.”

“I honestly think it’s going to take you leaving for him to realize what he missed out on.”

“Or for him to just suck it up and put up with his life as a married Christian.”

“That’s most likely!” Liam shouted from his kitchen, where he was preparing dinner.

“See, even Liam agrees with me, and they were best friends,” Louis added on.

“Babe, did you ever think Harry would be gay?”

“Uh,” Liam came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishtowel, “I don’t really know. I’ve known Harry my entire life, and for as long as I can remember, he’s always been about God.”

“So basically, he gave all his time and energy to serving christ that he didn’t even think about it?” Zayn questioned, pulling Louis from off the couch as they all headed to the kitchen table.

“Pretty much, I mean, I can’t say for sure that’s it, but Harry was very _one-way_ when we were younger. He did what he thought God believed was right. His parents don’t even go to church that much, so it’s weird that he’s so involved. I never understood it honestly.”

“I think I’m in love with him.” Louis said nonchalantly, “I think I’ve been in love with him from the jump.”

“Harry has a good heart, and he’s a good person. I just think he’s in a lot of denial. Louis, you’ve kind of done that, I mean he’s having an affair with you, and it’s been how many weeks now?”

“Three. He doesn’t act like what they see, he’s just…him. He’s funny and dorky with the worst jokes that make me love him even more. He sings so beautifully, even if half the time, it’s a gospel song. I love it all because it’s not Pastor Styles, just, Harry.”

“You’re so precious Lou, I’m sorry you got a shitty deal when it came to potential love interest.”

“Oh yeah, me too. But, I’m excited for Cali, and what it holds. I’m ready to start fresh and new.”

“Same here,” Zayn said with a huge smile.

“To new beginnings!” Liam shouted, holding up his glass of water.

Louis and Zayn joined the older man and clinked their glasses together.


	10. Chapter 10

“So, how are you gonna tell him?” Zayn asked.

They were packing up the little bit of belonging they’d kept over the years. Liam was kind of a great added bonus because he actually had financial stability. The apartment he managed to rent was a decent two-bedroom. Louis used all the money he saved up over the years to buy his plane ticket. They were leaving tomorrow morning, and Louis wasn’t going to tell Harry.

“I’m not telling him.”

“Louuuu, nooo. You have to tell him.”

“I can’t Z, he’ll…he’ll pull me in, and I just… I don’t want to leave on a bad note with him.”

“It’s going to break his heart.”

“Well, he’ll get over it. He has a beautiful wife, and even though I’m jealous of her title, she’s done nothing to me, and I can’t help but feel bad for her. Harry will get over me, I guarantee it.”

***

Harry had been trying to reach Louis for a week now. Things had ended sourly when Louis confessed the news that he was leaving for California. Harry knew he reacted badly, but he felt blindsided by the news, and now felt as though his time with Louis was on a countdown. He had no other way to reach the boy, seeing that Zayn was Louis’ best friend, and Liam hated his guts.

“Hey, just calling to check on you, and tell you I’m sorry, and that I miss you. Uh, I’m at our spot, so, yeah. Call me.” he looked out over the forest, leaned against his car at the motel that had become there personal hideout.

Harry didn’t want to acknowledge how dependent he was becoming on Louis’ presence in his life. The thought of the boy being over two-thousand miles away, yes he looked it up, made him want to puke.

“Dude, can I help you or…”

Harry’s wide eyes landed on the teenage boy who ran the front counter and was friends with Louis. He was the reason they got to use the same room, and that they’re secret was kept under wraps.

“Oh, uh, hey, Tommy. No, I’m just waiting for Louis, you know how he is, always running late.” Harry said with a chuckle but stopped short when Tommy frowned.

“Oh, Styles, don’t you know. He left for Cali like a week ago.”

“What? No, he would’ve told me. Besides, he said he would think about staying here with me.”

“No, dude, he’s in Cali living the good life. It’s all over Zayn’s Facebook page, him and that buff hottie who totally won’t treat Zayn as good as I would’ve.”

Harry didn’t want to believe it, Louis had told him that nothing was set in stone. The small man had made it seem like it was just wishful thinking. “C-Can you show me?”

“Sure, come in the lobby.”

Harry followed the redhead into the lobby, and towards a desktop computer behind the counter, where he pulled up the website and searched through his friend list. Clicking on Zayn’s profile, Harry positioned his face closer to the screen. His stomach dropped when he saw the picture of Zayn, Liam, and Louis in front of the world-famous Hollywood sign.

“He…left me.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you, seeing that you two fucked like wild animals.” Harry wasn’t listening to the boy any longer, pushing the glass door open and making his way back to his SUV.

Louis had left, and he hadn’t even said goodbye. He left like Harry was nobody, and what they had meant nothing. He should’ve known the second he closed his driver door the tears would fall, he also should’ve known that his heart would constrict, and his stomach would turn. He cried hard, sobs that hurt his throat as he let them loose.

“Why, oh god, why!” Harry was screaming at the man who was supposed to be there for him, the man who he’d thought would make his problems go away, “I love him! Why would you…how could you…”

Slamming his hands against the wheel over and over was the only way Harry could release all the anger and frustration he felt at this moment. Louis was gone, never coming back, and he couldn’t accept that. His mind wouldn’t let him truly grasp that the person he loved was never coming back.

***

“Man, sunrays, and hot bods everywhere you turn. This must be heaven.” Zayn said as he and Louis walked along the boardwalk.

“I needed this. I was so freaked out getting on that plane, but being here now, I can't help but be excited.”

“Same here, babe. We get to start over without judgment, and plus recreational weed is legal here, which means for happier, carefree people. We’ll get jobs, and we’ll thrive.”Louis smiled, entwining his hands with Zayn. 

He’d changed his number and cut off ties with anybody he knew in Ohio, good and bad blood. Zayn and Liam were his only family now, and he didn’t want to bring any extra baggage where it wasn’t needed. When he felt himself being upset about how he left things with Harry, he remembers that even if he had tried to leave on good terms, the older man would’ve fought him tooth and nail to stay.

The way things had been left was for the best. Harry could start new with his wife, have a few kids, and be happy. Louis didn’t know if he'd be happy in California, but they’d been here a week and he was already pretty content with his life. He and Zayn had job interviews lined up at a Gamestop, and Liam was utilizing his firefighter’s license and getting on at a Firehouse. Their rent was 1150, but the first three months were paid, and the price split between the three of them was only 385. They were also a five-minute walk from the beach, which Louis couldn’t get enough of.

“Do you think he misses me?”

“He’d be dumb if he didn’t. I didn’t really know Harry, but if he's as amazing as you say he is, then I have no doubt in my mind he’s having a horrible time coping with you being gone.”

“Thanks, Z, always know how to perk me up.”

***

“Hi, welcome to Gamestop, if you need anything just let me know,” Louis called out when he heard the bell ring, stuffing the Xbox one game returns under the counter.

They had officially survived one month in Cali. Louis got hired on at Gamestop, and Zayn ended up getting hired at the Burger King across the street. They were even taking a few classes at the local community college. Zayn a couple art courses, and Louis a couple in drama. Liam was enjoying fighting fires, even though he spent every other week at the station, which made Zayn sad. Louis always came to the rescue, though, being a supportive best friend, and keeping his mind off the fact that Liam was gone.

Louis had made friends, and he went out on the weekends to parties and meetups. Nobody questioned his past or why he moved two-thousand miles away, and California was way more liberal than Ohio. Even when he did get an interested guy who wanted to ask him on a date, he choked up and made an excuse not to. No matter how much he adapted to this new amazing life, he couldn’t get a pair of green eyes out of his head. He thought about Harry just as much as he thought about anything else.

His main question of concern was if the man had cared that he was gone. If Harry had cried over him leaving and realized that Louis actually meant something to him. His pride was way too big to try and get information from anyone back home, and he also didn’t want Harry to find out that he had asked about him. It was no hiding the fact that the second Louis saw Harry he'd be a bowl of jelly.

The door dinged again, drawing him out of his own head, “Welcome to Gamestop, let me know if you need anything.”

He looked down at his phone, clicking on the group message that included Liam and Zayn. Zayn was asking if they wanted him to bring home leftovers from work, and Louis thought over in his head if he wants Burger King or In and Out. The shadow that fell over him had him pocketing his phone to assist this customer.

“Hi, what can I hel—”

It was Harry, frowning with tears across his bottom eye line. He still looked the same as Louis remembered, which was nothing short of stunning.

“You left without saying goodbye.”

“Harry? H-How did you even find me.”

“Why did you leave and not say goodbye.”

Louis looked around the store, a few kids playing on the store Xbox, and a older couple browsing through the apparel. “I…I couldn’t do it.”

“So, not even a phone call, a text message. You left without saying anything, then it takes me a _month_ to track you down.”

“You were going to beg me to stay Harry, and I’m so fucking in love with you that I know for a fact I would’ve done it. I would’ve stayed in that god-awful place just for you, knowing that nothing would come of it.” Louis hissed, eyes darting around his workplace, making sure they weren’t drawing unwanted attention.

“Y-You…You love me?”

“I-I…yeah.” Louis sighed, looking back up at Harry, whose eyes were still gleaming from unshed tears. “I’m head over heels for a preacher.”

“When do you get off?”

Louis looked at the clock on the countertop, “Twenty minutes, meet me at the Burger King across the street.”

“Okay,” Harry said, reaching out to squeeze Louis’ hand briefly before exiting.

The last twenty minutes of his shift dragged on, and Louis didn’t know if he wanted it to be over now, or for it to last until eternity. 

“Hey, Lou. How’s traffic been?” Corey, the night shift employee asked.

“Eh, so so. More kids coming in to play the models than anything.”

The African-American laughed, clocking in on the computer, “Cool, maybe I’ll get a slow night. Well, see you tomorrow. Night.”

“Night!”

Grabbing his bag from the hook, Louis left out with a small wave. He squinted his eyes as he looked over at the parking lot, and saw Harry sitting in a booth talking with Zayn who’s face was pretty blank.

“Alright, Louis, time to face the music.”

He crossed the street quickly, walking into the fast-food joint slowly.

“Heyyy, it’s Lou Lou, mí abeja, how was work.?”

Louis smiled at Gina, “Hey GiGi, and work was, eh.”

“I feel ya there, sweetie.”

Harry watched Louis walk over the entire time, intense green eyes never faltering.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Zayn mumbled, bumping Louis’ shoulder, “He’s pretty messed up, so hear him out.” He whispered in passing.

Louis didn’t respond; he just allowed his body to slide into the opposite booth. The silence carrying on a lot longer than average.

“Uh, I… I’m sorry for leaving and not saying goodbye.”

“I left her, and I left the church.” Harry swallowed, looking out the large window, “I didn’t tell them why I just said that my calling to preach the word was no longer and that I was moving away for a while. Madeline took the divorce better than I had expected, we decided she could keep the house and the Lexus. I got the Suburban. I told Niall, and I think he plans to move out here soon. Apparently, he only enjoyed the church because of me and Liam. My parents were surprisingly, very supportive. They haven’t been to church in almost a year, so I think they are a lot more progressive then I know.”

“How did you…”

“I forced Niall to give me Liam’s number who, after we reconciled and made up, told me where you three were staying and where you worked.”

“So, you left it all…for me.”

“Yes. I was waiting for you at the motel when Tommy told me you’d been gone a week. I spent an hour crying in the parking lot. I cried so hard and so much, I had a sore throat the next day, and Maddi thought I was sick.”

“It took me moving away to realize I meant something to you?”

Harry smirked, looking down at the table, “I realized that I was in love with you a long time ago, and I didn’t want to accept it. I blamed God for taking you away from me, taking away the one thing that made me _happy_.” He wiped his eyes, “I love you, butterfly, and God wasn’t trying to break us apart, he was trying to push us together.”

Louis was also crying. When a teardrop fell onto the table, he wiped under his eyes quickly, “So, you want to stay here, in California, with me.”

“I’ll go wherever you want me to butterfly.”

Grabbing Harry’s hands in his, Louis smiled big, “I want you to go everywhere with me, Hazza.”

“1 John 4:18, There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was itching to get written so I wrote it, and I love it. I hope whoever reads, enjoys it just as much. Again I have to say thank you to those who leave comments, kudos, and bookmark any of my stories. Also to those who read my works in general, you too are amazing and make me smile at my phone screen stupidly lol. You all hold a special place in my heart 🥰. Much love. Peace and Chicken Grease. ✌🏾
> 
> *I have a [Tumblr](https://writewhatiwant22.tumblr.com/) now! Send me messages! However, if it’s anything rude or problematic I will not answer, just an FYI.*


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